storypaint: (Default)
storypaint ([personal profile] storypaint) wrote2009-02-11 09:43 am

Dimensions of the Mind (Tiffany gen)

Title: Dimensions of the Mind
Day/Theme: [livejournal.com profile] 31_days_exchnge: 19. subversive overthrowing; Discworld: Witches series, why dimensional portals are silly for [livejournal.com profile] abyss_of_colors
Series: Discworld, Tiffany Aching series
Character/Pairing: Tiffany gen
Rating: G
Length: 415 words

Excerpt: Tiffany knows that there are many things that Granny Weatherwax disapproves of; these things would fill a book, and maybe an encyclopedia.

Tiffany knows that there are many things that Granny Weatherwax disapproves of; these things would fill a book, and maybe an encyclopedia. It might, in fact, be easier to write a book of things she did approve of (good boots and common sense came to mind, but explaining Granny's notions of common sense would probably take another book).

"They're ridiculous. Pointless. Silly. There is absolutely no reason to go traipsing about in other dimensions," Granny says flatly to Tiffany, handing back the book. Tiffany clutches it to her chest and thinks that Granny has rather missed the point.

"Well, I don't think the point was to go traipsing about. There was a kingdom to save," she tries, because an Aching witch never backs down until she's learned the lesson all the way through.

"There aren't any places like that that need saving. Certainly not by children," Granny says, sniffing. "Dimensional portals are the tools of Death and librarians and stupid wizards who go muck about in the Dungeon Dimensions and bring back nameless horrors far too often."

Tiffany opens her mouth and shuts it again, because Granny has a thing about wizards that she's never quite understood, and even Nanny Ogg won't explain it. It has something to do with the girl wizard she's heard about, Tiffany assumes, but that woman's name has certainly never passed Granny's lips while Tiffany was around, so she pretends not to know about her. It is always more interesting to find out what people want you to know about someone, especially when you already know more than they think.

"Yes, Granny," she says, tucking the book under her cloak, and no more is said of it. She gets a lesson on the many uses of egg yolk, the value of a good village blacksmith, and some basic charms using table salt and (personal) vinegar. It is a good lesson.

When she gets home, she adds the book to the remains of the almanac in the outhouse. It had been an interesting read, but she has her suspicions as to the author's reasons for writing it. It had a lot of very interesting and suspicious parallels to Omnianism that she thinks were put in there on purpose, and she hates it when a book doesn't allow one to think for oneself.

To the outhouse it goes, and to the almanac Tiffany returns, this time paging through for a section on the Dungeon Dimensions.

[identity profile] abyss-of-colors.livejournal.com 2009-02-14 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
FUCK YEAH TIFFANY ACHING FANFIC! Thank you so much! This cheered me up~


It might, in fact, be easier to write a book of things she did approve of (good boots and common sense came to mind, but explaining Granny's notions of common sense would probably take another book). Well if Nanny Ogg has her own cookbook out, why not? I'd buy it!

I feel stupid 'cause I don't know some of these references like Omnianism and Dungeon Dimensions. But hey that's what wikipedia's for! lol

[identity profile] storypaint.livejournal.com 2009-02-15 06:54 am (UTC)(link)
Ooh, I was hoping you'd know Tiffany. XD I'm glad you liked it.

I'd buy it!

I think I would too lol.

And oops, I didn't realize you wouldn't get the references (the female wizard is Esk from Equal Rites btw). You don't read all of Discworld? It's all awesome...

[identity profile] abyss-of-colors.livejournal.com 2009-02-15 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh no, I'm almost done the first witches series right now (so I know who Esk is) but I haven't started up the Death series yet. I've also started up the Guards series and the Wincewind one too. I'm getting there! lol!

[identity profile] storypaint.livejournal.com 2009-02-15 07:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I started reading DW about eight years ago and I forget that other people don't follow as quickly as I do. XDDD Death's stuff is my favorite, personally; I'll be interested to see if you like it.