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storypaint ([personal profile] storypaint) wrote2009-01-05 01:46 pm

Fun and Games (Susan gen)

Title: Fun and Games
Day/Theme: Oct 5 // bargaining
Series: Discworld
Character/Pairing: Susan gen, unnamed wizard
Rating: G

Excerpt: "I don't-- I DON'T THINK SO," Death said, and for a moment the bewildered wizard wondered if the anthromorphic personification was scowling. He shook his head.

On the Discworld, Death played games.

Not as a hobby, of course. Death liked cooking and gardening, though he wasn't fond of walks on the beach or bright colors.

But if someone who knew Death(1) asked him, Death would play a game. He always won, of course. But he would play the game.

"I challenge you to a game of chess!" the most recent deceased was crowing at Death. He knew the rules. He was a wizard, and the life expectancy of a wizard is generally measured in enemies, not years.(2)

"I don't-- I DON'T THINK SO," Death said, and for a moment the bewildered wizard wondered if the anthromorphic personification was scowling. He shook his head.

"Checkers, then?" he ventured. Death shook his head. "Poker?" he said hopelessly.

Death sighed and then pushed back the hood. The wizard's eyes boggled.

"LOOK.... Look," Susan said, running a hand through her hair, "it's a busy night and why Grandfather had to take a vacation this week I'll never know, it's not like fishing can be that much fun for him, but the point is, I'm in a hurry. Come."

She held out a hand and the wizard found himself taking it. That voice of hers-- even without Death's hollow capitals-- had an air of command. He was suddenly and uneasily remembering kindergarten transgressions and the way Mrs. Bauble yelled when he'd eaten the paste.

Then he snatched his hand back.

"It's part of the arrangement!" he protested. "One game."

"Be a good boy," Susan commanded, slipping up her hood again with an air of annoyance, and the wizard found himself fading out of the scene before he could protest any longer. Susan adjusted her hood and sighed.

"You can't bargain with a teacher," she mumbled to herself, and stalked off to collect Binky. She was halfway to the door of the university before she realized she was walking through walls again. She scowled.

"Vacation," she growled, and wondered how long she would have to pull double-duty before her grandfather came home.

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(1) As well as one can know Death, given that most people only met him once.

(2)The conversion rate was one enemy equaled three years off life expectancy. Of course, a wizard gained enemies at the rate of at least two a year (three if he attended Guild banquets regularly), so most wizards died quite young.