In Vain (Watanuki, hints of various pairings)

[storypaint]

Title: In Vain
Fandom: xxxHOLiC
Character: Watanuki Kimihiro
Theme set: 2
Disclaimer: xxxHOLiC belongs to CLAMP. This fanfic is a derivative of canon material that is not my property. I do not profit from these writings. The opinions and actions expressed in these stories are not necessarily the views and beliefs of the original author or me.
Rating: G
Spoilers: should be none, though maybe referencing canon events through the American release (vol. 9).

Excerpt: Yuuko overcomplicated things; he set up his dominoes, black and white, and there she was knocking them down right after him.

01. Package

Watanuki liked to "package" things, his parents used to say, arranging all of his toys in the proper order; when they died it just got progressively worse, right up until the point when he began to see spirits-- because that didn't fit in with anything.

02. Obscure

He was an obscure face at school, not distinguishing himself much beyond his grades, and no one noticed his exaggerated facial expressions or the curve of his glasses in the light-- except for Doumeki, who noticed everyone, especially people with magical problems.

03. Skeleton

From the way his skin barely stretched across his skeleton, an occasional friend had surmised that he didn't eat well, living alone; it was really that Watanuki felt a little hollow, no matter what he ate, and the ghosts never left him alone.

04. Nurse

One day he realized that he spoke to the school nurse more often than he did anyone at school; the thought was depressing until he was chased down an alley and met the craziest woman he'd ever work for, and talked to her for a bit.

05. Domino

Yuuko overcomplicated things; he set up his dominoes, black and white, and there she was knocking them down right after him.

06. Thaw

The trick to thawing Watanuki: Himawari's smile, Yuuko's rescues, Doumeki's-- okay, Doumeki never could quite accomplish it, but he was a little frosty himself, so he didn't count it as a loss.

07. Waves

The creatures came in waves into his dreams, and Watanuki despaired ever sleeping well again, and he got thinner and quieter.

08. Burglar

The first time Doumeki slept over, Watanuki forgot about him and thought he was a burglar, and had to make up for the black eye with breakfast in the morning, even as he swore he wouldn't cater to the archer.

09. Frame

He had the frame of a runner, and he was certainly good at it, but Watanuki would never join the track team-- how could he ever learn to enjoy fleeing, when he'd had to do it all his life?

10. Carpet

Yuuko was constantly getting wine stains in her carpet, and he was constantly washing them out, knowing she didn't care, doing it anyway.

11. Insect

Himawari's first impression was insectoid-- tall, skinny, white, with the light glinting off his glasses-- but then he smiled at her and she recognized his desire and knew that she had more than a bug problem here.

12. Mentor

At one point, Yuuko introduced herself as Watanuki's mentor; he'd spazzed of course and she'd leaned forward and whispered, winking, "I'm trying to fix his twitching problem."

13. Spirit

Some people found spirits comforting-- visions of angels and ghosts who led the way in the darkness, but Watanuki knew better, he knew better than all of those fools.

14. Wax

His skin looked like wax, Doumeki thought, picking Watanuki up and throwing him over his shoulder, half-wondering how Watanuki filled that wax with so much life when conscious.

15. Trash

Doumeki wondered, once, what the pile of old papers was doing, tucked away in the box in Watanuki's closet; it looked like trash, and then he looked closer, and saw Watanuki's smile on an older man, and tucked the photos back away (one man's trash, another's treasure, for sure).

16. Womb

He kicked hard in the womb and he screamed so loud when he was born-- she named him April First in hopes that he'd be a quiet child and this was all a joke.

17. Burn

It was almost as if he were constantly on fire, Himawari finally decided, tossing away metaphors of cats and mad hatters; Watanuki was that excited all of the time.

18. Flash

Doumeki didn't always know what Watanuki was seeing, but he knew when-- the boy would lift his head in a certain way, the flash of his glasses sharp and sudden, and Doumeki would sigh and move closer so the thing would go away.

19. Anima

Yuuko knew it as soon as she saw him-- a boy with a soul that shiny and unprotected would have a spiritual "Kick Me" sign on his back all of his life (and she smiled; he had a wish).

20. Gamble

Watanuki wasn't a gambler, hated gambling, but the problem was, he had to take a chance, he was too nice not to, and that's what got him into trouble half the time.

21. Statue

He'd tried everything: playing a statue (if i don't move they can't see me), running (if i run they can't catch), screaming (if i yell loud enough they), but nothing, nothing worked until he met Doumeki, and he still wishes he could stand on his own.

22. Perfume

He hated Yuuko's perfumes, the cloying scent distracting him from the task at hand-- sometimes he thought she put some sort of mind-control-device in the smell; that would explain why he was running like hell right now, because he certainly didn't remember agreeing to this.

23. Wine

Sometimes Yuuko drank wine, sometimes sake, always something to make her tipsy; Watanuki wondered if those half-lidded eyes needed something to cloud them, to protect them, much in the way Doumeki protected him.

24. Reflection

The girl threw her arms around him and Watanuki sighed-- of course she didn't show up in the mirror, figured, the one date he'd gotten since Himawari died was also dead (he'd never let Yuuko set him up with someone ever again).

25. Take

Watanuki just doesn't know how to take things; he feels like he owes everybody, just for allowing him to remain alive, considering all the trouble he causes.

26. Magic

It was stupid, he knew, but he didn't believe in magic, even seeing what he saw all the time, not until he saw Yuuko standing there in those robes, resplendent, magical, and he knew that his boss could do a lot of things one couldn't explain except by magic.

27. Fragment

Yuuko only ever told Watanuki the bare fragments of things, keeping him irritated and guessing and uncertain all the time.

28. Cats and Dogs

They fought-- not like cats and dogs, because eventually those two would come to an accord-- but they fought like lovers, like spouses, and that knowledge was what irritated Watanuki the most about Doumeki.

29. Hum

Sometimes Watanuki hummed while he worked, and Mokona would make up a silly song, and those were the times he liked work the most.

30. Flinch

Watanuki flinched when Yuuko moved-- she'd been too quiet for too long: she was definitely up to something.

31. Rush

"Where are you going?" Himawari always wanted to ask as he rushed off to Yuuko's with that look on his face; she knew, but somehow, she didn't, because there was something strange in his panic.

32. Jester

Oh God, it's one of those days, Watanuki thought, looking at the costume "Queen" Yuuko handed him, and wondering when he'd be able to quit playing the jester and be a normal person (oh, and the hat jingled, dangit).

33. Haven

It would be stupid to think of Yuuko's shop as a haven: messy, smoke-filled, loud-- but perhaps it had been stupid to go in the first time and Watanuki wasn't letting that stop him now.

34. Dusk

Dusk was the worst time, the time that all the spooks came out to play, and not for the first time, Watanuki wondered what part of "white school uniform shirt and black pants" seemed so tasty in the dimness.

35. Chord

He pretended to hate what she made him do and who she made him hang out with because there was something in her eyes that struck a chord with him-- she knew him much more deeply than a stranger should, so he pushed her away.

36. Indulgence

"Why not?" Yuuko said, holding out her hand and clearly expecting Watanuki to do the same; Watanuki wasn't particularly indulgent of himself, ever, but she kept pushing so he let her give him the cherries (he'd pay for them later, he was sure, but not right now...).

37. Freezer

His home was like a freezer--he didn't pay much for heat living alone, and he didn't plan to--and in any case, Watanuki could always be found in the morning curled in a ball, buried under the covers, feeling oddly safe.

38. Passage

"There's only one path forward," Yuuko said to him, winking, and Watanuki knew it was true, but that didn't stop him from sulking and kicking and complaining.

39. Coast

He thought some days that it would be nice to escape the city, to move to a little hut on the coast where the ghosts were few and he could walk along the beach, but he had the sneaking suspicion that it would only be a couple of days before a certain black-haired woman took up residence in a hut beside, carrying booze, wearing a swimsuit, and sorting through her books to find something incredibly unappealing for him to do.

40. Keepsake

Nothing Doumeki ever gave him could be a keepsake, could be useful, worthwhile, but he tucked the old photograph away in his pocket anyway and began to complain about the meal he was supposed to make tomorrow (and when Doumeki visited, he would carefully put the photograph away again, out of spite and personality, but otherwise he greeted her every morning along with his parents-- Doumeki's mother, long dead as well).

41. Morbid

Some might call him morbid-- Watanuki knew he was just being practical, and that was the worst part.

42. Shipwreck

He should have known when Yuuko put on the pirate hat, but he still groaned when he heard the boat scrape the rocks, and he reluctantly slid the patch over his bad eye and went to greet the natives.

43. Socks

Watanuki had always thought socks were innocent, but these basic assumptions that helped get him through the day were too often shaken by Yuuko, and after that incident, he couldn't stand to wear them anymore.

44. Sand

There was sand in his hair and in his clothes but Himawari was here and she was laughing and that mattered, nothing else.

45. Coin

"Tell me you'll stay-- flip a coin, at least!" Yuuko pleaded when he tried to walk out (she keeps pulling him back in somehow), and he flipped the coin, knowing how it would come down, knowing she'd manipulate it, but he was surprised when it landed perfectly on the edge and she grinned, saying, "Choose, not chance."

46. Guile

He had no guile in him, which might have preserved him against the ghosts, but she wouldn't tell him; she'd be sneaky for him until he realized the necessarity of such things (and then he could have her job, ohohoho).

47. Eyelash

Suddenly Yuuko was gone, leaving one eyelash and a broken promise, and she'd never granted his wish, he thought, until he surveyed the empty shop and sighed with resignation, half-wondering if he could get his payment back (not regretting it, anyway).

48. Drive

"You're driving me nuts!" Watanuki shouted, and usually Yuuko smiled when he ranted and raved, but today she leaned forward and put a finger to his lips, and when he stopped, surprised, she kissed him on the forehead and said, "Here's some advice for free (and really for free, except you have to get me some booze later): quit complaining and maybe the cursed girl will learn to like you."

49. Net

Watanuki stared at his computer screen in desperation, then let his head drop to the desk; how ghosts could invade one's hard drive was truly a mystery, but the fact that there didn't seem to be any computer technology exorcists on the Internet was honestly a surprise.

50. Destination

The thing about Watanuki was: the destination was foggy, the beginning of the journey was lost, the middle was complicated, to say the least, but he would always be along for the ride.