storypaint | It's Not Your Baby! (Clow/Yuuko)

Comm: wtf27
Words: 340
Title: It's Not Your Baby!
Author: rhap_chan
Fandom: xxxHOLiC
Pairing: Clow/Yuuko
Disclaimer: xxxHOLiC belongs to CLAMP.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Um, mpreg. Definite squick possibilities there.
Author's Note: Written for prompt #6, mpreg.

"What the HELL? You're pregnant!"

Yuuko took several steps back from him, wrinkling her nose. This was too weird, even for her.

Clow smiled and patted his stomach. "Yes. And, I'm sorry, darling, but it's not yours."

The only way she resisted slapping him was by physically holding her hand back. She glared horribly and Clow continued to smile.

"What the HELL?" she repeated, and Clow put a finger to his lips.

"We don't want to catch Hell's attention," he reminded. "Think of what the stress could do for the baby."

"Are you serious?" she asked, praying that he wasn't, and when he nodded, she sank down into a chair. Carefully, he did the same.

"You're insane," she said, pressing her forehead to his as though she could press in the utter absurdity of his actions. "How did you do this?"

"To create life, there's only so much you can do by magic," he said. He seemed scarily happy with this, Yuuko noted. If she was pregnant-- which was, by the way, biologically possible, unlike this-- then she would have been rather upset.

"Your guardians? Are you kidding?" she said, staring at the small bulge already present in his stomach.

"Yep," Clow said. "How drunk do you think the doctor will have to be when he delivers?"

"Probably two of your best bottles of sake will do it," she replied automatically, and then blinked. "Don't expect me to attend the birth."

"But I was going to name one of them after you--" Clow said, pouting.

"How are you going to do that with the wings?" Yuuko asked. She'd seen the prototype designs for his guardians-- hell, one of them wasn't even humanoid, this thing was getting weirder by the minute-- and they were both winged.

"The wings will grow in later. I have it all planned out," Clow said, waving a hand. "Aren't you impressed with my ingenuity?"

"No," she said flatly. "Now, do you have any chocolate in this house? I could go for a chocolate and ketchup sandwich."

"Why are you having weird cravings? I'm the one who's--"

"Don't remind me!" she said, storming off to the kitchen.

In fact, the doctor drank three bottles of wine, and the whole thing still creeped him out.