For the Love of Her (Tomoyo/Sakura)

[storypaint]

Title: For the Love of Her
Words: 301
Comm: 20_inkspots (claim dropped)
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Pairing: Daidouji Tomoyo/Kinomoto Sakura
Author: rhap_chan
Artist: sky_pirate_tat
Theme Set: Dark themes, #6
Rating: G
Warnings/Spoilers: shojo ai
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP. All fanfiction archived here is a derivative of canon material that is not my property. I do not profit from these writings. The opinions and actions expressed in these stories are not necessarily the views and beliefs of the original author or me.

Summary: Tomoyo is on her knees praying, but she receives no consolation. Thus it will always be.

Night, and the love of her, has brought me to my knees. Night is such a lonely thing now that she is not in it, breathing hard and smiling with victory.

I am on my knees beside my bed because I haven't the strength to climb up in-between my sheets and fall asleep. I am too tired to sleep, strange as it sounds. The bed is much too large for one person.

I close my eyes and fold my hands and try to pray as Eriol taught me that the English do, but I find no solace. The English God would disapprove of me, in any case. Have no other gods before me, He commands his followers, but I cannot help the fact that she is my goddess. She at least accepts my offerings of food and costumes and smiles, and returns them.

I do not want Heaven with the English God, I want time on Earth with my dear Sakura. Is that so wrong?

I am on my knees beside the bed, hands folded like a Christian, muttering and moaning in despair. She can never, will never, be mine, and the night will be forever lonely. It is as my mother was, though I will not bear a child to have something else to love, like she did. I am second place to a dead woman and the relationship I have with my mother is moody and unpredictable.

I do not want someone else to love, in any case. Loving Sakura is enough for my whole being. Sometimes, it is hard, but sacrifice is worth it.

Night, and the love of Sakura, has brought me to my knees, and she will not lend me a hand to find my feet. That's okay; I'm used to the darkness between her smiles.

Comments

[morgan-of-sixx.livejournal.com]

Very nice.

Except I think "foreign God" would be more... correct. Other than that, excellent.

[storypaint.livejournal.com]

Good thought, I might have to change that. Thanks for the comment!

[jinarocks.livejournal.com]

Japanese practice Catholicism, don't they? I'm fairly sure they do. They just keep those Japanese traditions for special events or something. (Or something. I just heard that somewhere.)

[storypaint.livejournal.com]

Actually, only a very small percentage of the Japanese people are Catholic or Christian. Mostly they're Buddhist or Shinto.