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storypaint ([personal profile] storypaint) wrote2011-06-20 01:59 pm

[xxxHOLiC] all gentleness and its enduring (fem!Doumeki/fem!Watanuki)

Title: all gentleness and its enduring
Fandom: xxxHOLiC
Length: 1178 words
Prompt: [livejournal.com profile] helpthesouth for [livejournal.com profile] melissa_42: xxxHolic with fem!Doumeki/fem!Watanuki before the time skip. Maybe something about having patience with each other.
Pairing: implied fem!Doumeki/fem!Watanuki
Other: AU as per prompt: Doumeki and Watanuki have always been female. I used first names because they sounded more feminine. This is a retelling of the hydrangea bush story in volume 5. Thanks for helping the South, Melissa!

Excerpt: When Kimihiro deigns to notice her, she usually says something disparaging about Shizuka's inability to cook or her tendency to rip her clothes. Shizuka knows that she isn't very ladylike. She has no boyfriend, and she doesn't desire one. Girls tend to watch her from a distance.

Watanuki Kimihiro does not like Doumeki Shizuka. Shizuka saw it on the first day. Kimihiro is polite, like a well-brought-up young girl (even though Shizuka knows that Kimihiro brought herself up, so perhaps this is commentary on the other's own resourcefulness). But Kimihiro is also a horrible liar, and she is prickly when Shizuka is around. Her gestures are bigger, her tone flatter, and she's even more standoffish than she usually is. She doesn't fit in with the other girls, and neither does Shizuka, but Kimihiro could not bear to be her friend.

Shizuka really doesn't know what she's done to raise Kimihiro's ire. She's tall for a girl, silent in an unnerving way. Perhaps that's enough for it. When Kimihiro deigns to notice her, she usually says something disparaging about Shizuka's inability to cook or her tendency to rip her clothes. Shizuka knows that she isn't very ladylike. She has no boyfriend, and she doesn't desire one. Girls tend to watch her from a distance. They only crowd around after archery, telling her that she's amazing for being on the boys' team, for drawing that gigantic bow and having great aim.

Kimihiro sniffs. "All that height should be good for something," she says.

Even though she doesn't have many friends, Shizuka could easily hang out with someone who isn't Kimihiro. Her own company is often preferable. Just as she tries Kimihiro's patience, Kimihiro frustrates her. Shizuka is not a romantic, but she listened to her grandfather's words, and she understands the red string of fate that ties them together. Yuuko noticed it, remarked on it, the very first day. But Kimihiro struggles, tangling herself up in anger and self-deprecation and a red string she just can't break.

Shizuka tries to be patient. It is something besides archery that she thinks she's good at. The rain falls, unrelenting, on her shoulders, soaking through her haori, soaking through her skin. She cannot remember ever being this wet, but even this is better than the panic she felt when Kimihiro disappeared under the hydrangea. She dropped to her knees and dug and dug, tearing her fingernails and not caring, dirtying her hakama and bot nicing. She can't see anything under there -- she never sees the things that get Kimihiro into trouble, even though she tries. She'd dug down almost a foot when Yuuko appeared and told her that would accomplish nothing.

Yuuko is beautiful, as always, resplendent in gold, with a matching umbrella. She is effortlessly beautiful and feminine all of the time. Perhaps Shizuka should be jealous; she knows that Kimihiro is, sometimes. Shizuka has other priorities. She clutches at the hair ribbons firmly. She isn't sure how Kimihiro will emerge from the place where she has gone, but Shizuka will be here. She waits, and the rain collects in the mud hole at her feet.

Yuuko asked if they had taken her suggestion and borrowed something to keep them in contact. Shizuka showed her the hair ribbons, and Yuuko's eyes widened just a little.

They had gone to see Himawari, of course. Kimihiro had been insistent. But Himawari wore a closed expression and turned them down. Her excuse hadn't mattered, although it had probably been a lie. She could not offer herself as a part of this. Shizuka likes Himawari, to a point, not in the manner that Kimihiro does, all flailing and embarrassment and schoolgirl romance. Yuuko has said that there is something about Himawari, and Shizuka watches for it. Kimihiro won't see it, because she never sees danger until she plunges into it. It frustrates Shizuka, Kimihiro's stubborn giving of herself. Kimihiro nurtures things, maternal, sisterly, without a thought to her own needs.

Himawari turned them down, for whatever reason, and while Kimihiro stood there, heartbroken, Shizuka reached up and unfastened her hair, letting it sweep down her back. It's too long again, which is why Shizuka ties it up. Shizuka handed Kimihiro one of the ribbons, and reluctantly, Kimihiro took it.

And now she is pulling, and Shizuka braces herself and holds strong. She hopes the ribbon will not break, but from Yuuko's triumphant expression, there seems little chance of loss at this late juncture. Finally Kimihiro appears, eyes woozy, hair a mess, and Shizuka almost collapses when the pressure lessens. She's tired, now that she can be tired, and she crouches down on her haunches and blinks water out of her eyes, feeling hungry and wobbly. Her bangs are sticking to her cheeks, but she can't be bothered to brush them away.

Kimihiro is holding the hand of a small skeleton, and Shizuka cannot spare the strength to be surprised. Kimihiro brings things out of the dark. She finds things, and tends things, and sometimes Shizuka has to rescue her from her own heart. This is one of the reasons that Kimihiro does not like her. It is one of the things that frustrates Shizuka the most. Kimihiro feels too much about everything.

Shizuka's umbrella is over her head. Shizuka hasn't moved, but Yuuko has rescued it from the ground and pressed it into Kimihiro's hand, and Kimihiro has cocked it over Shizuka's head, lips mulish. Shizuka scowls.

"You're getting wet," she says.

"Really, do you think so?" Kimihiro says, voice high with sarcasm, and Shizuka struggles back to her feet. Her legs feel like leaden weights. The night is as dark as it ever gets, not as dark as the other worlds where Kimihiro goes, but the comfortable dark of a city, streetlights and cars in the distance. She takes the umbrella and shuffles closer to Kimihiro, holding it over both of their heads. Shizuka does not have to turn and look at Yuuko to know that Yuuko is smiling. Yuuko hangs up the phone.

"The police will be here soon," Yuuko says. "They'll take care of the child."

"Good," Kimihiro says. "She doesn't need to be lonely anymore."

Her voice breaks a little on the end of that sentence. Shizuka stands silently. They'll wait. She knows Kimihiro won't want to leave the child until she's sure that the girl is in good hands. Another half an hour won't be bad; the police won't keep them too long, at this time of night. Shizuka's arms are streaked with mud. She'll say that she started digging when they saw the hand, and Yuuko will manage to cover any of the strangeness, because she's good at that. Then they'll go back to the shop and Shizuka is already planning to eat something amazing and sleep for a very long time.

"Honestly, you look like a mess," Kimihiro mutters, and she takes Shizuka's ribbons, leaning up on her tiptoes to fasten Shizuka's hair back properly. Her breath is on Shizuka's neck, warm and alive. Shizuka shuts her eyes.

"You're not much better," she says, because she can, because they're both here and there aren't two bodies under the hydrangea bush right now, and she hands Kimihiro the umbrella so she can stick her fingers in her ears against the tirade. Police sirens shriek, then, so she has good timing. Probably no one sees her smile, just a little, in relief.
odd_ellie: (Default)

[personal profile] odd_ellie 2016-09-18 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Lovely.
This was the only fem!doumeki/fem!watanuki fic I was able to find and it didn't dissapoint. I also really liked your choice from the william carlos williams for the title ^^