Safe Port in the Storm - Writer's Commentary

[storypaint]

Title: Safe Port in the Storm
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Character/Pairing: Hiiragizawa Eriol gen
Set: #2
Theme: #7, black
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1493 words
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP.

Summary: The only safe port in the storm for Tomoyo is Eriol and his music. Sometimes all you need is a friend you can be real with. Genfic.

Welcome to the Special Writer's Commentary version of "Safe Port in a Storm." This is kind of like watching a movie with the commentary turned on. It details the motivations and little details that went into writing this fic.

This fic almost didn't get written as an Eriol/Tomoyo friendship fic. It started as an Eriol/Sakura fic, actually. I got a few paragraphs in and then realized that this wasn't a Sakura thing at all. So I was going to write an Eriol/Tomoyo romance, but that died, because I got to the end and couldn't figure out how to make it into a romance. It's just a genfic, with tiny hints of Eriol/Tomoyo if you wear your OTP glasses.

The storm stalked into Tomoeda like a panther, with a liquid grace of movement and a hunter's speed. The wind rose, ripping cherry blossoms from trees, and then followed the rain, relentlessly pouring down upon the town. The rumble of thunder could be felt deep in one's bones, as well as the primal fear it often brings, and lightning in its spastic way flicked between the clouds. It only took twenty minutes for the lights to go out.

Tomoyo was scared, and she was trying very hard to hide it. In fact, it would be hard to see if you only looked at the surface, like most people did. Loving Sakura had taught Tomoyo in its quiet way that most people don't really want to know who you are. They want to know what you do and that you're happy. This isn't exactly a human flaw, because many people miss the little cues that show emotional pain on accident. Like Sakura, of course. Hiiragizawa Eriol was one of those people who noticed.

"Loving Sakura had taught Tomoyo in its quiet way that most people don't really want to know who you are." Tomoyo's life philosophy. She's way too old for her age.

He'd only been back in Tomoeda for a week, his return being the reason for her visit, and already the climate resembled Britain's. They were having tea on a quiet Thursday afternoon, discussing the cards and their friends and so on. It was just Eriol and Tomoyo, that afternoon; Nakuru was hanging out with Touya and Yukito (if you could count "stalking" as hanging out), Kahowas shopping, Spinelsun was playing a videogame marathon with Kero (and was losing a car race when the power failed, so was secretly grateful to the storm), and Sakura and Syaoran were visiting his family in Hong Kong.

When the sky began to darken, the pair didn't notice, engrossed as they were in a discussion about Yue and how much his personality was entwined with his false form (more than Yue would admit). When the mansion plunged into blackness, Tomoyo hadn't screamed, but she'd wanted to, and she felt her face grow hot. She had always wanted to be strong in front of Eriol, as strong as she was for everyone else (My happiness is her happiness, my happiness is her happiness...). He had simply chuckled a little and rose from his seat, reassuring her that he had candles in one of the moving boxes and it should only take a few minutes to locate one. He strode forward with purpose and tripped over one of her feet and nearly fell into her lap. She grabbed him instinctively and for a moment they were embraced as close as lovers, but neither of them found that comfortable.He found his feet quickly and summoned a small ball of light to illuminate his passage. Then he had disappeared into the next room, and left Tomoyo in the dark.

This is as far as I got with Sakura in the feminine role. Sakura would have screamed. This just wasn't working how it wanted to. I was on a Darcy kick and I had determined that the goal of this fic (I'm not kidding) was getting Eriol in a white button-front and jeans, with no socks, and soaked. This makes me squee a lot and want fanart. Oh, and I wanted him to play the guitar too. With this in mind, I kept going.

For now all she could do was shiver in the darkness of the lonely mansion. She hated being in a place like this alone. At least at home there were maids and her bodyguards and occasionally her mother. Not that she would go to these people--she was too old to be afraid of storms--but their presence was comforting. She squeezed her hands together in her lap as the thunder became louder and the wind shrieked at the window. She wished that Eriol would come back soon.

As if in answer to her thoughts the young magician came back into the room holding two thick vanilla candles. He handed one to her and she gazed into the flame, loving the small reassurance of hope that the fire gave to her. He set the other candle on the table and then lifted his head as though he remembered something, and looked distressed.

"Kaho left the wash on the clothesline!" he said. "Neither of us Saw rain for today, but you can never trust the weather... I'll be right back."

He picked up the candle again and strode away into the dimness. She heard the door open and rain fall into the hallway, little percussive bursts of dampness, and she shivered. How could he go out in this, even to rescue their laundry? It would still be there and wet when the storm was over.

When she was little, she used to make a pillow fort when it rained like this, a soft sanctum on her bed that muffled the sounds. But now there was only blackness attempting to swallow the light of the candle. It flickered a little as the door opened again and Eriol came back into the house.

Aww, a glimpse of Tomoyo's childhood. I really wanted to put this in here.

As he came into the room, clothing in his arms, she was shocked to see that he was sopping wet. His dark hair was in his eyes and he was dripping water everywhere.

"It's raining," he said, with more than a hint of irony in his voice. He went into the next room and in a moment she heard the dryer start. He came back into the room and put his hand on his forehead, obviously frustrated, but when he noticed her again he seemed to regain composure.

"That's quite a storm," he said calmly. She couldn't help it; finally, she laughed and said, "Why didn't you take an umbrella?"

He laughed too, after a moment, but Tomoyo's cheer ended abruptly as the thunder rumbled again. This time Eriol noted her discomfort. Without saying anything (for why would he ever give up the illusion that he knew everything? it was much too useful) he left to change into dry clothes. He came back dressed quite casually, for Eriol--a white button-front shirt only partially buttoned, and dark trousers. He had bare, pale feet, and hair was still mussed from the rain. However, Tomoyo wasn't focused on his appearance. She was surprised because he had brought a guitar with him, a beautiful maple acoustic. He gestured for her to follow him, so she grabbed the candles and he led her to a room she didn't believe she'd ever seen before. Unlike most of the mansion, which was still empty and dark due to their long absence, this room seemed small and homey. There was a forest green couch and two matching armchairs sitting across from a small fireplace.

Tomoyo wasn't focused on his appearance, but mmm, I was. I also took some time to consider the color of the guitar. I hope this is the right wood for what I was imagining in my brain.

"Do you like it?" he asked, for a moment vulnerable, and she didn't hesitate to tell him that she did. She didn't ask why he wanted to know either, because she knew he didn't want to say. She didn't remember that this room had formerly been the room in which his Throne O' Ultimate Evil (as it was dubbed by Nakuru) had sat, where he had planned Sakura's challenges, where he had been Clow in word and deed. Kaho had suggested a redecoration. He welcomed it as a way to step back from who he had been. This was now a place where he could just be Eriol.

So a deviation from canon here, because the mansion is still standing, and I understand that in the second movie they knocked it down. Oh well. I've never seen the second movie, and it's not that big of a deal. I think to live in the house again they would have had to do something like this, for Eriol's peace of mind.

She sat down on his couch and he sat down beside her. He brought the guitar into his lap and strummed the strings.

"You're scared of the storm, aren't you?" he asked, his fingers picking out an ancient Chinese melody. She didn't say anything. There was no denying it to Eriol. Instead she knotted her hands in her skirt again. Eriol moved from finger-picking to playing soft, quiet chords. He hummed along, his voice deep and certain.

"What are you playing?" she asked politely after a moment. It sounded like a melody that she'd heard before, but she couldn't put a finger on it. She watched his long fingers as he played, wondering when he had learned guitar. Probably when he'd learned piano, as Clow. A man that long-lived had several hobbies. He had a musical Card, after all.

Tomoyo neatly justifies my reasoning for the guitar. It makes sense.

"I don't know," he said pleasantly. "It doesn't matter."

The music rose in volume, but remained sweet and reassuring. It sounded like a love song with no words, she thought. She leaned back on the couch and let the music wash over her. It was much better than being upset over a storm.

"It's nice to be able to relax with a friend, isn't it?" Eriol said. She nodded and shut her eyes. The music traced the chorus again and she could almost give it words.

She nodded and he said, "You don't relax much with anyone." She didn't waste her time protesting. There was some part of her, in fact, which was thinking that it was nice to have someone with whom she could drop all pretenses.

Some good friendship dialogue here. They know each other, in a strange way, the masters of deception.

Not that she would. She was Daidouji Tomoyo, after all, and it wouldn't be her nature to give in easily. Sakura had earned her friendship with an eraser, but Hiiragizawa Eriol was different.

Issues with friendship and secrets and all of that could wait, however, she decided as she began to sing along with Eriol's playing. Her sweet voice meshed perfectly with his soft humming and she found herself thinking that it was actually really nice to be herself with him.

Eriol played guitar and Tomoyo sang in the midst of the worst storm Tomoeda had had in years. And for the first time in living memory, Tomoyo wasn't scared.

I don't know why endings are so hard. I wrote this at least six times before I settled on this ending, and I'm not 100% pleased with it, to be honest. It's a little too quiet and fluffy. But it leaves you with a pleasant image. Watch the camera pan out and slowly fade to black.... gone.

And the number of Eriol and Tomoyo FRIENDSHIP fics in the fandom increases by one. To say, three.