storypaint | Birthday Present - Writer's Commentary

Title: Birthday Present
Pairing: Eriol/Syaoran primarily; past Syaoran/Sakura, mentioned Tomoyo/Sakura
Theme: 5. chocolate
Words: 430
Rating: G, pre-yaoi
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP. All fanfiction archived here is a derivative of canon material that is not my property. I do not profit from these writings. The opinions and actions expressed in these stories are not necessarily the views and beliefs of the original author or me.

Excerpt: Cautiously he opened the box-- couldn't be too careful, the magician was unpredictable-- but the only things in it were a box of chocolate and a small card.

Hello, and welcome to the Special Edition Writer's Commentary of "Birthday Present." This is kind of like watching a movie with the director's commentary turned on. This details the motivations and inspirations behind the fic, as well as some behind-the-scenes information.

First of all, inspiration. I honestly think this one can be traced back to claire_chan. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear that. ^_^ She's certainly my best and favorite reader! Claire is currently writing her way through a 25_streetsigns claim for Eriol/Syaoran. I've been reading them, critiquing them, and letting them boil around in my brains for a little while. Then I ran across 5trueloves. "This would be cake!" I said to myself. "I regularly write Eriol in four different pairings (Kaho, Sakura, Tomoyo, and Meiling). All I need is one more!" I wanted to do something... different. So this story was born.

This prompt caught my eye first, before I even picked the other stories to use. It's canon that Syaoran is quite fond of chocolate. I figured my best bet was to start with something familiar. The first time one writes a new pairing, it's hard to get confidence in oneself, and I find that confidence in familiarity.

And a THIRD thought-- yeah, it took me a lot to write this fic-- I was poking through challenge comms and reading whatever was posted in CCS, and I sat down and actually read an Eriol/Syaoran fic, probably in 1sentence, and I didn't like it much. (Sorry if you're the author.) The reason I didn't like it wasn't because it wasn't good--there were some very good parts--but because it didn't give me a reason to believe in an Eriol/Syaoran relationship. I needed a get-together fic. So what did I do? I almost wrote one.

Syaoran had honestly forgotten that Eriol had moved back to England and the postmark on the package caught him by surprise. Cautiously he opened the box-- couldn't be too careful, the magician was unpredictable-- but the only things in it were a box of chocolate and a small card.

"Happy birthday," the card said cheerfully on front. Syaoran couldn't read it, since it was in English, but the letters were brightly colored and there was a picture of a party hat. The inside was carefully written in somewhat archaic Chinese.

Happy birthday, dear Syaoran. I know you love chocolate, so I have sent you some. As a better present, I am coming to visit you and our family tomorrow. ~Love, Eriol

Heavy touches of Eriol here in the English card and the Chinese language. Wouldn't Clow's Chinese have felt different than modern Chinese? I would think so. As soon as I wrote Eriol's snarky note, I wanted to write the visit, but that wasn't really coming out, so I kept going where I was going.

Syaoran growled, but then he blushed. He wasn't sure what to do, actually. Ever since Eriol had revealed his true identity, he was torn between helpless rage at being manipulated, and gratitude, for Eriol's pushing had led him to Sakura. That hadn't worked out as anticipated (Syaoran sighed), but that wasn't Eriol's fault. Who knew that Tomoyo would steal his love away?

The impossibility of strange pairings never stops me. You guys know that. I look at whether characters can mesh together well over anything else. Setting canonical relationships aside, Syaoran and Eriol have a somewhat antagonistic relationship. To say the least. Eriol knocks Syaoran off balance in a way Sakura doesn't-- Eriol is strong. He would be, in this theoretical situation, the seme. That freaks Syaoran out. But he might be interested in this too. After all, consider the Yukito/Syaoran relationship. He wasn't really a strong one there.

As a side note, because my ideal reader here is Claire, I added in some Tomoyo/Sakura. Some happy Tomoyo/Sakura. Believe it or not, this is the first time I have ever hinted at a pleasant ending to that one-sided love. It also gives a reason for Syaoran not to be with Sakura without using the old tired excuses.

And now Eriol was coming to visit like he was family. Which, Syaoran supposed, he technically was, but most family waited for invitations. And it wasn't like he wanted to see Eriol at his birthday, anyway.

He set the note back in the box and pulled out the chocolate. It was good quality stuff from Switzerland, and dark chocolate, his absolute favorite. He held the box up to his nose, anticipating the wonderfully sharp scent, but inhaling Eriol's particular smell at the same time. Eriol had packed the box himself. The cologne blended particularly well with the chocolate, something almost cinnamon-inspired.

Mmm, Eriol smells good. I imagine, anyway. Scent is a huge part of attraction.

Of course one of Syaoran's sisters wandered into the room at this time. She looked at Syaoran and squealed.

"Who sent you candy, little brother? Is she cute?"

"No one!" Syaoran snapped. "And he's not cute!" Hastily he threw the chocolate back in the packing box, picked it up, and strode out of the room.

No one has (hopefully) read this fic, but my very first fanfic "Green Ribbons" has a scene like this in it. Syaoran gets a letter from Tomoyo calling him back to Tomoeda, and he gets just as flustered when his sister bothers him. The oddness of this current story, coupled with the fact that I've basically written this scene before, gives an interesting juxtaposition, don't you think?

"Then why are you blushing?" the sister teased from behind him. Syaoran lifted a hand to his face and was embarrassed to feel the heat. There wasn't any need for that...

Syaoran went into his room and locked the door, for good measure. Then he opened the box of chocolates, examined it carefully for spells, and ate one. It was amazing, like he thought it would be.

Eriol was coming tomorrow, Syaoran thought, and he wasn't sure if he was annoyed or anticipatory. He guessed he would see in the morning.

I really enjoyed writing this ending. The thing that makes this fic believable to me is this "annoyed or anticipatory" idea-- very Syaoran, very reluctant to fall in love.

Any ideas or comments are welcome to any of my posts here. For more fic from this challenge community, this pairing, or this author, check the tags!