storypaint | Clow's Presence - Writer's Commentary

Title: Clow's Presence
Author: rhap_chan
Fandom: Cardcaptor Sakura
Claim: What if Sakura had given up the Clow Cards; that is, what if Syaoran became the officical Cardcaptor?
Theme Set: D
Theme: 5. Standing my ground
Rating and Warnings: G
Summary and Notes: When a new kid transfers into Syaoran's class, he takes an interest in Syaoran that Syaoran doesn't appreciate.

Welcome to the Special Writer's Commentary version of "Cardcaptor Syaoran." This is kind of like watching a movie with the commentary turned on. It details the motivations and little details that went into writing this fic.

I wrote 5_changes specifically for the chance to write this particular part of the AU. Following conclusions logically-- if Syaoran couldn't win the Judgment the first time around, why would he the second?-- this could totally be alterna-canon. Plus, it's got Eriol in it, so I love that.

When the new kid came, I stood my ground, even though he creeped me out. After a long moment of studying Sakura he had whirled around and given me a very scary smile. It had been a calculating smile, with too many teeth in it, and somewhere deep within I was scared. I pushed the fear away. This English kid had nothing on me; we'd never met before. If he wanted to dislike me, that was his problem.

Eriol realizes that something is wrong from the get-go. I'm sure he's able to sense the presence of the cards, just like Syaoran could. He proceeds to figure out what's going on, getting angry because the plan has failed.

During Art class I was drawing a picture of the school statue when he came up to me again.

"Konnichiwa. I am Hiiragizawa Eriol. I'm in your class," he said politely, though I could feel the malevolence in his aura, especially frustration.

"Li Syaoran," I said shortly, and continued to sketch.

"You're new here too, right?" he said. Why he was trying to be friendly, I didn't know. He must want something.

"I was wondering if you could help me out," he said. Yep, I was right. "I thought you might know where I could find one of these things for my cousin."

The 'thing' he pointed out was a sketch he had doodled on his paper instead of doing the Art lesson, a plush like a bear with big ears, a long tail, and wings. It was a silly looking thing. I wondered why it made him mad.

Remember Sakura's first sketches of Kero? Eriol just drew them. Cute, eh?

"Never seen it," I said. "Maybe ask one of the girls."

"Thanks for the advice," Eriol said pleasantly, and walked away.

He spent a few days quietly trailing me at school. To hide my irritation I began to climb trees and eat lunch in the branches. I didn't need a new friend, or whatever this guy thought he was.

About a week later it started to rain on Tomoeda-- just Tomoeda. The cause was interdeterminate, and it spoke of magic to me, but I spent a few nights roaming the streets looking for its source, and could not find it. My ability to sense was dampened by the fact that the magic seemed to manifest all around me. There was a calling feel to it, almost, but I couldn't answer.

Eriol is still trying to get Syaoran to reveal himself as keeper of the Clow Cards. Too bad the Clow Cards have disappeared off somewhere, since Syaoran lost the Judgment.

After three weeks of solid rain, it stopped abruptly. Eriol decided to befriend Yamazaki and they spent their time making up stories about this magical girl and the Book of Clow (what a weird name, since I was descended from a man named Clow Reed). Naoko suggested that they wrote them down. They were quite engrossing, for children's tales. I found myself wanting to embellish in parts, but I quenched the desire. Eriol disliked me enough already.

When he told his stories I could feel his focus on me, so I made a point to work harder at my math or whatever homework we had. Sometimes I even helped Sakura, who was terrible at math and so densely grateful, so that I didn't have to think about his eyes on me. His obsession was bordering on Tomoyo's weird obsession with Sakura, and unlike Sakura, I couldn't deal with it.

No catching cards with Sakura=no bonding. And he's always kinda thought Tomoyo's obsession with Sakura was weird, but when he got to know her, he kinda overlooked it. None of this happened in this alterna-canon because he caught cards alone.

"Do you know where Yukito went?" he asked me one day. He had waited for me to finish cleaning duties at the gate. I wasn't really in the mood for his freaky games.

"Who?"

"Yukito... Sakura's friend?" he said, lifting an eyebrow. I vaguely remembered meeting the guy once-- tall, pale, prematurely gray-- but I had no idea how he factored in on this.

"Why would I know?"

"He disappeared suddenly, is what I've heard," Eriol said. I shrugged and walked home.

Two months into term, Terada-sensei announced that Eriol was going back to England. Good riddance, I thought, from his stupid questions and pointless glares.

I didn't go see him off (why would I?) though Sakura and Tomoyo did, and they were talking about it on Monday when I came in.

"He seemed quite lost," Tomoyo commented.

"He asked about you," Sakura said to me.

"I had better things to do," I said, and starting studying for our history test. Finally, things would be back to normal. I was glad I had stood my ground.

Back to normal. For this alternative universe. This is a quiet fic, and proceeds logically from the first chapter, but the last, quiet chapter here really horrifies you, really presses in the fact that if Sakura HAD done what Syaoran wanted, everything would have been so different. This whole fic to me contains a quietly mounting horror. But it was terribly fun to write.