Apple - Writer's Commentary

[storypaint]

Comm: 1sentence
Words: 1545
Fandom: Cardcaptor Sakura
Pairing: Hiiragizawa Eriol/Li Meiling
Theme set: Delta
Rating: PG, warning for character death

Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP. This fanfic is a derivative of canon material that is not my property. I do not profit from these writings. The opinions and actions expressed in these stories are not necessarily the views and beliefs of the original author or me.

To read this fic without commentary, go here.

Welcome to the Special Edition Writer's Commentary version of "Apple." This is like watching a movie with the director's commentary turned on. Motivations, inspirations, and behind-the-scenes details are nestled within the fic.

First, of course, the inspiration. I knew I'd do all of the theme sets for this community, because it was only writing 250 sentences, and I could do that easily. I looked over the word set, and something about it made me feel Eriol. Fire and some other words made me think Meiling. And I hadn't written an Eriol/Meiling fic in a while, so I decided to go with it. I knew it would be hard to get a relationship going in 50 sentences, but I decided I was up to the challenge.

Another side note is that, strangely enough, four of my five 1sentence fics involve main character death. I'm not sure why this has been on my brain lately, but it has.

01. Air
She'd never flown before, and it was exhilerating, even if she was going to visit this friend of Syaoran's (friend of Sakura's, anyway) whom she'd hardly met.

A perfect prompt to start with. How was Meiling going to get to England to hang out with Eriol? When Sakura dragged Syaoran to visit and Meiling wanted to get out of the country on vacation.

02. Apples
"Would you like an apple?" Eriol asked, handing her something red and shiny and ripe, and she couldn't help but think as she took it that this was more than an apple she was getting.

03. Beginning
It began with that visit, and her rash promise to write to him, because he seemed like a friendly guy.

04. Bugs
"There are bugs everywhere!" he said, lifting an eyebrow and shushing her; "We don't want to catch the ear of the government," he said, and Syaoran rolled his eyes so Meiling knew that he was playing, and didn't want to talk about magic, so she joked with him about surveillance programs.

05. Coffee
On her third visit he offers to take her out for coffee, and she expects Kaho to appear and go with them; Kaho doesn't, and he stirs his coffee almost despondently and she wonders why they broke up.

Sudden jump of probably about two years. I don't establish the fact that these are all New Year's visits until later, but I figured one wouldn't fly more than once or twice a year. This was also a good way to get Kaho out of the way. And we're only on the 5th prompt, so this romance I was planning was definitely going to happen.

06. Dark
She awakens one night and almost panics in the dark to be sleeping in an unfamiliar bed; then she remembers that Eriol is sleeping two rooms over and it calms her enough for her to fall to sleep again.

07. Despair
He sips his coffee and talks to her about mundane things; she wants to tell him that she understands his despair all too well, but instead they discuss the weather.

08. Doors
When she leaves that third time, her heart aches for him, and she wonders when he opened that door and let himself in.

09. Drink
For Christmas he sends her gourmet coffee, stuff you can't get easily in Hong Kong, and she doesn't have the heart to tell them that she only drinks it in company-- she hates coffee.

10. Duty
"You don't have to write to him-- it's not a duty," Syaoran says to her, and she looks up from her paper, filled with her careful English script (the dictionary is at her side, because she wanted to write him something special, in his own language).

I thought that this would be sweet and special. English is a hard language to learn, and Meiling did poorly in Japanese, so Eriol would treasure this as a lot of effort. She's trying to cheer him up a bit.

11. Earth
She lives the year with the Earth separating them, but her fourth visit is at New Year's, and she feels like everything is right-side-up again.

12. End
"I love you," she says steadily when they meet, without preamble; she isn't going to repeat what she did with Syaoran, and asks for his answer.

A more mature Meiling. She wants an answer before a promise.

13. Fall
"I may be falling for you," he says, and his eyes widen when she giggles and kisses his cheek.

14. Fire
They spend their last evening before her return in front of his fireplace, and his hand in hers is something new and precious.

15. Flexible
"Can you come?" she says, sounding forlorn and far-away on the phone, and his schedule is anything but flexible, and he comes anyway.

Eriol's schedule wouldn't be flexible, so there had to be a really good reason for him to come. My mind immediately focused on death. I guess I've just been morbid lately.

16. Flying
It is difficult to spend the flight without thinking about what has happened, and how he can comfort her, but he knows his best words won't be enough, because Syaoran is gone.

17. Food
He refuses the in-flight meal, feeling queasy, because the attendant woke him from a dream of Syaoran falling, arms spread wide, begging her to catch him, and Meiling couldn't reach (he wonders if she is having the same dream).

I was going to imply that this was the way that Syaoran died, but there would then be inquiries and so on, so I changed my mind. I never specify the cause of poor Syaoran's death.

18. Foot
He's grown half a foot since Meiling saw him last and he's the perfect height for her to sob into his chest.

19. Grave
He holds her at the funeral, but she, as one of the closest living relatives, has to shovel some dirt into Syaoran's grave by herself (he holds her again when she is done, and she sags into his arms).

20. Green
They both do their best for Sakura, but Eriol wonders if her green eyes will ever be happy again.

Green has been on the prompt list for several of these sentence communities, and invariably I think of Sakura and her green, green eyes. This is actually the only time she's a presence in the fic.

21. Head
When the time comes for him to head home, his visa over, Meiling asks if she can come back with him, her eyes broken but hopeful.

22. Hollow
It fills a hollow in his heart to have a woman's laughter echo through his home again.

23. Honor
He won't besmirch her honor, no matter how tempted he is, and when he sees her coming toward him, dressed in pristine white, he knows it was worth it.

24. Hope
And when she stands up there with him, seeing him clad so smartly in that tux, she has a hope for the future that tried to die when Syaoran did.

I like the last phrase here, I think it's really poetic and touching.

25. Light
She is so light, those first few days after their wedding, dancing around the house with him, teasing Spinelsun, playing with Nakuru.

26. Lost
She goes shopping, but gets lost downtown, and when she calls him, panicked, it reminds him of Kaho and it hurts a little.

27. Metal
He'd found the most interesting, intricate rings, ones that one couldn't take off without them falling apart, and she told him that she would let it rust on her finger rather than remove it.

I read about these rings on little_details before I wrote this fic, and I was thinking about these special rings. l_d said they were Turkish in origin, and the website they linked to said that it was meant to discourage infedelity, because they are puzzle rings and very hard to put back together if you take them off. I thought it would be a cute detail to add to a fic.

28. New
She woke up one morning with her face pressed into his chest, and yawning, she wondered when this wonderfully new thing became normal (remained wonderful).

29. Old
It was almost like old times at New Year's, except that they went the other way to Hong Kong to spend time with her family (and to visit Syaoran, but that was always an unspoken part of their planned visit).

30. Peace
The third year they came back, the snow dusted the ground and Meiling found that she finally had peace in her heart, though she still missed him sometimes.

31. Poison
"Are you trying to poison me?" Spinel accused drunkenly, and Nakuru grinned, and all was well when they got home.

32. Pretty
"You're gorgeous," Eriol told her, holding her long hair back so she could throw up, and though she was mostly focused on the nausea she thought he really meant it.

33. Rain
The day the baby was born, it poured down rain that wiped the roads out; she had to deliver in the car when traffic came to a standstill, screaming and blood and something new and wonderful falling into Eriol's arms.

I like how earthy this sentence is. It's actually startling and gritty, like giving birth is. And I could totally imagine this happening-- it happens all the time.

34. Regret
Her little boy has Eriol's cool blue eyes and she regrets nothing.

35. Roses
He gives her roses all the time, for anniversaries and holidays and sometimes just on a whim; she smells like roses all the time and he adores that.

My boyfriend's father does this for his mother, and I've always thought it terribly romantic, and something Eriol would do for someone.

36. Secret
It isn't that Eriol consciously decided to keep Kaho a secret; he is honestly surprised when his son comes to him one afternoon after searching through old family photos and asks him who this mysterious lady is.

37. Snakes
He wants to say something about snakes and apples, but he doesn't, which is a good idea because she teaches his son's English class the next semester (he gets a B, no favoritism there).

38. Snow
There is snow on the ground the first time Eriol and Meiling take their son to Syaoran's grave and Meiling explains who he was; her boy surprises her by throwing his arms around her in sympathy, but she is touched by his compassion.

39. Solid
Strange as it seems, that's when Meiling realizes that all of them together are solid enough to last as a family, traditional or not.

40. Spring
That spring, Meiling gives birth again, and her son is proud to hold his baby sister (Eriol thinks about cultivating in him a sister complex, to last after they are gone, but he doesn't have to make the effort, it happens anyway).

41. Stable
Their son's school paper on his family brings a counselor wandering around, sniffing about a stable environment, but all she finds is a loving mother, available father, a boy and his sister, a cousin without family of her own, and a really strange-looking cat.

That would be a really funky school paper, wouldn't it? The poor kid probably failed for "making up stories." And I always picture shaky grade school drawings of "Mommy, Daddy, me, sissy, and Daddy's guardian beasts."

42. Strange
A little strange, but certainly a good home, the counselor writes in his permanent record; the boy grins when he reads the note later (that was closer than the counselor could have known).

43. Summer
Two summers later, Meiling bears twin girls, and the men in the house are somewhat disconcerted by all the estrogen, but gentlemen all the same.

Meiling seems like the type of woman who would want a big family; there's no mention of any of her siblings or parents in canon, but Syaoran has four sisters and she seems like she was close to his family.

44. Taboo
"Who is Clow Reed?" their son asks, wandering into his parent's bedroom; the subject isn't quite taboo, but Eriol doesn't discuss him much, and simply says, "Someone I knew long ago."

I'm sure Eriol would want to put that all behind him as soon as he could live a normal life. I don't blame him for wanting to talk about it. And the kid already has a weird idea of family, anyway. Why warp him further by talking about his "Almost-Uncle" Fujitaka and "Grandpa-But-Not-Really" Clow?

45. Ugly
The boy gets in trouble for fighting on the playground and refuses to apologize, because the other boy said his sister was ugly, and she was a precious gift (Meiling and Eriol grin at each other; they have taught him well).

46. War
When everyone is old enough to have a proper snowball war, they divide up, boys versus girls (Nakuru counting as a boy so the teams will be even), and they fight until they stalemate, laughing and cold.

When I got to this prompt, I did a little counting and was pleased to see that I had done a good job of making the household gender equal. Not that I really care, but it made the snowball war more fun!

47. Water
When his younger daughters come to him with the same photo as his son had, this time Eriol can answer that Kaho is just water under the bridge, and he loves their mother most.

48. Welcome
Their children begin to grow and it's understand that friends are welcome almost anytime, into a big house that is nonetheless busy and friendly and warm.

49. Winter
The first winter when all the kids are out of the house (with college or families of their own), the place is quiet, but Eriol and Meiling still have each other, and that's enough for two people, young at heart, who are beginning to grow old.

50. Wood
He is chopping wood for the fireplace when his heart stops, and Meiling only lasts a few days longer before she joins her beloved in the beyond, and they step into forever, holding hands.

I like to make these 50 sentences type fics span a long length of time. It's very easy to manage when the sentences don't have to follow chronologically. These sentences actually were chronological, for the most part, but I did several time skips.

I was very pleased with this fic when it was done, and I hope you enjoyed this alternate look at Meiling and Eriol's future. Any comments are always appreciated!