13 Years is a Lucky Number - Writer's Commentary Edition

[storypaint]

Title: 13 Years is a Lucky Number
Author/Artist/Iconist: rhap_chan
Fandom: Cardcaptor Sakura
Claim: Yamazaki Takashi/Mihara Chiharu
Prompt Set: indigo
Prompt: 9. Penguins
Type: fanfic
Rating: G
Warnings/Spoilers: really fluffy
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP. All fanfiction archived here is a derivative of canon material that is not my property. I do not profit from these writings. The opinions and actions expressed in these stories are not necessarily the views and beliefs of the original author or me.
Summary: Yamazaki's inscription inside Chiharu's senior yearbook.

Welcome to the Special Writer's Commentary Edition of Thirteen Years is a Lucky Number, written especially for claire_chan. This is kind of like watching a movie with the commentary turned on. It details the motivations and little details that went into writing this fic.

First, as always, the inspiration. This was one of the last fics I wrote for 7rainbowprompts-- I'd initially chosen the set specifically because of penguins, which reminded me of Yamazaki's lie about the flightless birds. I didn't really want to rehash that scene, however. And I'd had this horribly sappy thought that I wanted to see him write in Chiharu's yearbook. Penguins? I was sure I could work it in.

Dear Chiharu-chan,

As we are nearing the completion of our senior year of high school, you have given me your yearbook and the charge to write "something serious, for once." I have no idea what you're talking about, as I am the most serious guy in school (except for Li-kun, of course, but I think his face is stuck that way and he doesn't even realize it).

So I said I'd write something serious, especially after you threatened me in that sweet way of yours. I don't honestly know what to write! We've been together for so long that any memories I want to share with you have already been shared. Unless you forgot the time when King Penguin came to life and started squarking at bystanders? I'm sure you remember.

It's the first time I've stepped directly into Yamazaki's head, and it's slightly disorienting, but I think I'm getting the voice. Chiharu is usually sweetly threatening, and Yamazaki is so happily indulgent of that. This is where I inserted the first lie. I went back and forth on this. Should I cross them out, should I leave them in, or should I take them out entirely? I wanted Yamazaki to be realistic, but I wanted him to be light-hearted too. So I decided that he would probably go on auto-pilot, writing lies as easily as he said them, but then maybe he'd cross them out, to save Chiharu's sanity.

Look, I'm being true to my word. All seriousness.

I think we've had a fun time together. Certainly, your choking has never actually knocked me unconscious, and you only gave me food-poisoning three times. If that's not love, what is?

I always wondered about the choking. Regardless of pressure, he always seems to be smiling. Perhaps he believes in tough love?

I think, Chiharu-chan, that I'd actually like to write something special. It's not a lie, I promise. I crossed all of the lies out. Even though I tell the truth all the time. Even about the penguin. I swear!

Chiharu-chan, I love you, and I don't want to lose you after high school. I know I should probably say something like this in person, but I'm afraid that I'll start telling stories and never get to the point, out of nervousness.

That felt really true to me. I went "aww" after writing it-- and I wrote it! I wanted to put another dimension into Yamazaki while retaining his innate playfulness.

Will you marry me?

Wrote this, removed it, wrote it again. It's almost too over-the-top, but for people who've been sweethearts for years, I thought it would be appropriate.

Please say yes. I'll never make fun of your cooking again. I'll never regret this. Did you know that in ancient times, two lovers would often tie a red string on their rings to symbolize their love? Of course, it was hard to go very far without getting caught on the string, and going into separate bathrooms was difficult. But I digress.

He got nervous and started lying again. And sensibly crossed out the thing about her cooking. That made me giggle. I've heard this red string story before-- actually wrote it into a fic-- which makes me wonder exactly where I heard it. If I've recycled one of Yamazaki's canon stories, I'll be a little embarrassed. Oh well.

Your loving boyfriend, Yamazaki Takashi

P.S. I love you even more than penguins.

I couldn't resist that ending. There was plenty of penguins in the story and enough fluff to cause small cavities. My work here is done...

As always, any questions or commentary are welcome in a comment here or on my personal journal rhap_chan.

Comments

[claire-chan.livejournal.com]

Yaay! That was interesting to read, the process of entering a character's mind. ^__^ I didn't realize that the increasing cross outs at the very end were because he got nervous so I received more insight!!

*wants to write a commentary so much now but isn't sure anyone'd care to hear* XD;

[pleonasm]

Yay, I'm glad you liked it! ^^

I'd read the commentary (I love these things!).