storypaint | Close (House/Wilson)

Comm: 50fantastic
Words: 392
Title: Close
Prompt: 18. House, M.D. Using a House/Wilson pairing, somehow work in the phrase "Proche, mais aucun cigare."
Written for: lea724
Genre: fluff with some humor
Rating/Warnings: PG for implications
Disclaimer: House, M.D. belongs to David Shore and the Fox Network. All fanfiction archived here is a derivative of canon material that is not my property. I do not profit from these writings. The opinions and actions expressed in these stories are not necessarily the views and beliefs of the original author or me.

Note: I Babelfished all of the French I included, so if I said something really stupid, let me know...

Excerpt: "Nothing changed," Cameron had said once, irritated, "except that sometimes Wilson finishes House's sarcastic remarks, and they occasionally imply things heavily enough to make you sick."

"That's the last time I let you pick a movie," House grumbled, but when Wilson put the disc in he grudgingly let the man join him on the couch, stretching his injured leg over Wilson's lap. Wilson, knowing that he'd won the argument (it had been going on for almost half an hour now), began to massage House's thigh.

It was some historical crap, and half of it was in French. House wasn't paying much attention. He fiddled with the remote and turned subtitles off, but that didn't perturb Wilson. And in the end, the spunky but poor heroine got together with the calm but rich hero, and all was well and everyone learned something about life.

House had wanted to watch a movie with more explosions, but at least he got a massage out of the deal.

"So we learn that love conquers all," Wilson said. "L'amour conquiert tous." He leaned back on the couch and stretched. House lifted an eyebrow.

"Proche, mais aucun cigare," House said. "Actually, it tells us that hot babes get rich guys. Nothing we didn't already know. I mean, you've been married enough."

"Near, but no pure*?" Wilson repeated in English. "I don't think the idiom translates very well, House."

They shared an apartment, they shared a bed, they shared a workplace, but House was still House and Wilson still Jimmy. "Nothing changed," Cameron had said once, irritated, "except that sometimes Wilson finishes House's sarcastic remarks, and they occasionally imply things heavily enough to make you sick."

To which, of course, House had responded with something like, "There's a lot of people who think that two men having sex is arousing. Haven't you ever been on the Internet?" In the end, Wilson had apologized for House, since he knew his partner never would.

"Good enough for a crappy movie," House said, waving a hand in dismissal. "Let's watch something fun."

"Like what?"

"Well, you could start taking your clothes off..." he said, wagging his eyebrows suggestively. When Wilson frowned, House sighed, rolled his eyes, and turned on the baseball game.

"Finally, some testosterone," House said. "Quit leaning on me, Jimmy, I want to feel manly."

In response Wilson slid his shirt off. "Baseball is boring."

"I had to watch your stupid movie," House whined, but he didn't protest when Wilson pulled House's shirt over his head.

*Not to say that Wilson's French is bad-- I have no idea how good he speaks French, if at all. I simply used Babelfish to translate the words from French to Spanish to French to English, and that's what it gave me. ^^