Heart's Death (Syaoran/Sakura)

[storypaint]

Comm: 30_tears, 20loves
Words: 200
Title: Heart's Deaths
Author: rhap_chan
Fandom: Cardcaptor Sakura
Pairing: Li Syaoran/Kinomoto Sakura
Challenge #: 8 (table one) for 20loves
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP.

Summary: Sakura killed Syaoran in many different ways, but it was all worth it.

I might die, I thought in the moment before I collapsed while trying to help her change the final cards. All the work overseas with a new language and a goal unaccomplished would be worth nothing. I would be worth nothing. I might die if she cannot change the cards.

I didn't hesitate. I held tighter, if that was possible. I could feel her tears as hot pinpricks on my skin blown against my face by the magical wind. I didn't want her to cry. I would be worth nothing if I didn't prevent that.

Later on she thanked me for my strength and my support, and cried again when I said I was to leave. I told her how I felt and it was a death as well, less physical than the possibility during Hiiragizawa's Final Judgment, but a death nonetheless. I threw away my childish crush on he who was the moon guardian unknowing and stepped into real love, strong love that overflowed its banks and sprang from my mouth and told her the truth.

She was confused and left me without an answer, and that was a third death, death of my heart, with little hope for a resurrection, and it burned like oil that had escaped the pan and sizzled a mark into my skin. I wondered if I looked different now that I was heartbroken.

Sakura knew that everything would be all right, and that there was no death for hope, which I sometimes doubted. But she met me as I was leaving at the platform crying again and certain, finally, who she loved--

And the hurt didn't matter anymore. "You're worth it," I said in my first letter back to her. "You're worth everything I had to go through to get to you. Thank you for telling me everything would be all right."

Sometimes, it really is.