Shut His Eyes (Touya/Yukito) *repost*

[storypaint]

Comm: 1sentence
Words: 1480
Fandom: Cardcaptor Sakura
Pairing: Kinomoto Touya/Tsukihiro Yukito
Theme set: Epsilon
Rating: PG13 for character death

Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP. All fanfiction archived here is a derivative of canon material that is not my property. I do not profit from these writings. The opinions and actions expressed in these stories are not necessarily the views and beliefs of the original author or me.

Excerpt: There was no defining moment that Touya sat down with Yuki and said, "I want you to be mine"; it was more of a gradual motion, but as unstoppable as the ocean's waves.

01. Motion
There was no defining moment that Touya sat down with Yuki and said, "I want you to be mine"; it was more of a gradual motion, but as unstoppable as the ocean's waves.

02. Cool
Those months when Yue was fading and Yuki was in and out of consciousness, the only constant memory he has is of Touya's cool hand, supporting him.

03. Young
They are so young to marry, one of Touya's coworkers says; Touya doesn't understand why he should wait if he needs Yukito in his life forever-- why not start now?

04. Last
The last woman Touya tried to date told him he would love someone else when she came back, and the remaining hatred he had for her faded when he realized she was right.

05. Wrong
He never stopped to wonder if this was wrong; he just shut his eyes and kissed his friend, and wasn't surprised when Yukito kissed back.

06. Gentle
Yuki sometimes runs his hand across Touya's bare back at night, and his gentle touch is often what Touya wakes to, and his soothing whispers.

07. One
"I have another number one love," Yuki said to Sakura, hating to hurt her; she sniffled, but smiled, and said, "Is it my brother?" and she was rewarded with his shock.

08. Thousand
When Touya goes away on business, Yukito counts the minutes until he calls, but he never gets over one thousand before he gets to hear Touya's voice.

09. King
In another world, Touya is a king; in this one, he is simply Touya; but the both of them have Yukito and that's worth more than being regal.

10. Learn
There was a learning curve when they made love, but they figured it out with plenty of enjoyable practice.

11. Blur
College goes by in a blur, and life passes, and by the time Yukito notices that Touya's hair is graying, it is almost all gray (he doesn't mind, of course, because he's still Touya).

12. Wait
He doesn't ask Touya to wait for him, when he takes a semester abroad for his major in college, but when he comes back Touya is still there, and he hands Yuki a ring, scowling, "Don't leave again."

13. Change
The core of their relationship never seemed to change, even with Yue added to the "family."

14. Command
It annoyed Touya that he commanded the attention of so many girls; when he began to hold Yuki's hand in the hallways, their interest slowly dropped off and he was glad.

15. Hold
Yuki wakes in the night, cold, and before he can reach for the blanket Touya grunts in his sleep and spoons him, sharing his own warmth.

16. Need
Touya never says, "I need you, I love you," but Yuki knows.

17. Vision
When Touya's vision gets bad, he refuses to buy glasses; Yuki sighs and doesn't force it, and begins to read to him.

18. Attention
"Yuki!" Touya says in exasperation as his boyfriend stretches languidly; he's having trouble keeping attention on his calculus homework, which isn't particulary riveting anyway.

19. Soul
"Three souls that live at one," the strange woman with garnet-colored eyes muses as she studies them; Touya lifts an eyebrow and says, "Would you like to order, ma'am?"

20. Picture
Yuki keeps their wedding picture by the bed, like the sentimental fool Touya jokingly claims he is, but Yuki knows that Touya looks at it just as often as he does.

21. Fool
Yuki spends an hour holed up in the bathroom before Touya manages to unscrew the hinges; "You fool," he says, "do you think I would stay mad at you this long?"

22. Mad
Yuki wasn't afraid of Touya's anger, but of his disappointment, but he is happy enough to get up and hug his boyfriend in apology.

23. Child
Of course they can't have children themselves, but it doesn't take very long for Touya and Yukito to begin spoiling Sakura's adorable children.

24. Now
"They are the same couple now as they were when they married fifty years ago," Sakura says emotionally when she gives the toast.

25. Shadow
Yue is a shadow in their relationship for a while, but Touya lures him out when he asks Yue's permission to marry Yukito (he thinks about it for a long while, but he agrees in the end).

26. Goodbye
Touya hated goodbyes, but he wished that he would have been able to say something to Yuki the day Yuki died (he wished he would have been able to say, "I love you," words he never said).

27. Hide
After Yuki's death Touya holes up in their home, making a fort from blankets and pretending to be a child until Yue comes to him in a dream (and where had he gone at Yuki's death, into limbo?) and tells him that he can't live like this forever.

28. Fortune
Clow had provided well for the boy with nonexistent grandparents, and Touya pours all of the money back into a foundation for the prevention of drunk driving.

29. Safe
Eventually he takes away some of the things that remind him of his husband, putting them into storage, keeping them safe from age and the tears he seems to drip at odd moments.

30. Ghost
He wants nothing more in the world than to see Yuki's ghost, but even his father tells him that Yuki is gone from Earth.

31. Book
Yue's symbol appears on the Clow Book, but he won't come out anymore; when Sakura shows Touya the shiny moon, he raises the book to his nose and tries to smell Yuki there, but it only smells like paper.

32. Eye
And finally Touya buys glasses, because Yuki isn't there to be his eyes.

33. Never
He never looks for someone else (and old as he is, he could have found someone), because he knows who he wants, and that person is gone.

34. Sing
He does okay for a while, until he goes into that department store and the clerk is humming their song, an old song he is surprised she knows (and he is more surprised when he gets home and finds his face wet with tears).

35. Sudden
It is such a sudden thing, the loss of Touya's world, and he doesn't think the jagged rips will ever heal cleanly.

36. Stop
When the phone rings the only thing he hears is, "Are you the closest living relative of Tsukihiro Yukito"; the world stops because, magic or not, he knows what this phone call is about.

37. Time
"He didn't suffer very long," the speaker on the phone says, and other useless platitudes, but Touya thinks, If I was there, he wouldn't have suffered at all, because he was supposed to be driving that car (but he'd been sick, and Yuki said he would go alone).

38. Wash
They cut Yuki's clothes to get to his heart, what was left of them after the wreck, and they were surprised when Touya wanted to save the scraps, which he carefully washed and put away.

39. Torn
He isn't at all torn between attending his job and planning the funeral, and luckily his work understands (his boss has seen the photos on Touya's desk, and the quiet devotion).

40. History
He doesn't discuss Yue at the service, nor does he talk about his long history with Yukito together; those who were important already know, already understand.

41. Power
"If I had the power to bring him back," Sakura whispers; Touya wraps his arms around her, pressing her head to his chest.

42. Bother
"I don't want to be a bother," the neighbor lady says when he answers the door looking like hell, "but Tsukihiro-san was such a nice man, and I thought you might be hungry..."

43. God
Touya figures there is probably a god, since there are things around him all the time that no one sees, and on the darkest nights he prays.

44. Wall
In the spring Yukito planted climbing vines, but Touya doesn't remember until they begin to climb the walls, and then he waters them once in a while.

45. Naked
He has to identify the body, and his face is oddly calm, his affection naked to the world, as he strokes one bruised cheek ("It's him," he says, and nothing more, though they have to pull him away in the end).

46. Drive
He'd made it to the hospital, but when he gets out of the building, he finds that he can't drive, can't focus, so he calls Sakura to pick him up and won't tell her why he is there until she herself is safely home.

47. Harm
When he gets home, he punches the wall, trying to make himself feel less numb, and the pain in his hand brings him back to his painful senses (he rather wishes he'd chosen to be numb, after he thinks about it).

48. Precious
They give him a bag, in the end-- Yuki's wallet, shards of his glasses, and a very mangled ring, and Touya keeps the precious things for the rest of his life, as saddening as they were.

49. Hunger
He's never hungered to see ghosts as much as he does now in the dark nights when the bed is cold.

50. Believe
But he never stops believing, and when he steps out of life in the end, Yukito is there to take his hand.