Cherry Kiss (Tomoyo/Sakura)

[storypaint]

Title: Cherry Kiss
Comm: 15pairings (an old fic from my home journal I'm reposting here)
Theme: #2, cherry
Pairing: Tomoyo->Sakura, hints of others
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP. All fanfiction archived here is a derivative of canon material that is not my property. I do not profit from these writings. The opinions and actions expressed in these stories are not necessarily the views and beliefs of the original author or me.

When is porcelain skin too porcelain? When are shiny dark eyes too dark? It was usually hard to tell when Tomoyo was sick, but no one could deny the presence of the machines beeping noisily in her room. Not even Sakura. Sakura looked at the face of her dearest friend, reposed in sleep but not quite restful, and she worried. The fluorescents painted Tomoyo stark white and gleamed off the sweat on her forehead.

This was bad.

When Sakura had finally talked Tomoyo into sleeping ("No, I want to hear about your day! How is work? How is Kero?"), she had immediately reached for the phone. Eriol was a doctor now, one of the youngest people to graduate Oxford with a medical degree, at twenty-two. He'd know what to do.

The problem was, he didn't.

She'd come to depend on his brilliance over the years. His phone calls and letters were full of useful information and witty comments. But not even the wise magician knew a cure for this new kind of fast-moving cancer. He'd been looking into it since it appeared, and had been especially focused on it since it hit Tomoyo. But he had no answers for the Cardmistress.

The way things looked, he had explained gently, Tomoyo was very likely to die. He had booked a red-eye flight and would arrive in Tomoeda by morning. Sakura had choked back her sobs, not wanting to wake Tomoyo. There would be time enough to cry when everything was over. Eriol was coming. He would help do the things she couldn't, just like he had booked her flight to Hong Kong to go to Syaoran and Meiling's wedding, and had been there for her to cry with when she came home. Sonomi was gone and so it would be up to Sakura to make the arrangements.

Even as her brain processed these facts, she wouldn't believe it. She kept thinking she would blink and Tomoyo would rise up from her bed with a smile, and then they could go home together. Everything would be like it always had been....

A nurse came into the darkened room and stopped short to see that someone was there. She had a syringe in her hand. She injected something directly into the patient's IV and then looked down at the girl waiting for her relative, friend, or lover to awaken. She felt a surge of compassion.

"This is for her pain," she said quietly to the visitor. "When she wakes up she should taste cherries. That's how you'll know it's working."

The girl nodded. The nurse left.

*

Tomoyo came back to consciousness with an effort. It felt as though oblivion was trying to suck her away. She didn't want to go yet.... She blinked and Sakura's blurry face was in her line of vision. She tried to smile, but her lips were dry. For some reason she tasted cherries.

"Tomoyo?"

"You should get some sleep, Sakura. You can't stay here all night with me...."

Sakura laughed a little, almost crying. "You're the sick one, Tomoyo."

Tomoyo licked her lips again. There was a numbness where the pain used to be.

"What did they do?" she asked.

"They gave you a painkiller. I talked to Eriol, Tomoyo, and he's flying in to see you tomorrow. It sure has been a while, hasn't it?" She tried to sound cheerful, but to Tomoyo's practiced ear it fell flat. She knew what was coming. She knew why it was getting harder and harder to wake up.

She was dying.

And if Eriol was flying in, then she was going to die soon. She smiled a little inside when she thought of him. He'd been the only one to see through her charade... the only one to realize how she loved Sakura, and how she couldn't do anything about it. He'd been sympathetic.

She wished that he would have returned for a happier occasion than her deathbed. In a fleeting thought she thought something could have happened between them that would have eased the ache she had for Sakura.

Except, that ache was gone. All the pain was gone when she woke up.

Gasping, she tried to sit up. She got about halfway there before Sakura grabbed the bed remote and brought the back of the bed up to rest her head on. She felt limp, and weak, and lost. She didn't think the pain of unrequited love would ever leave her. She almost didn't want it to. For so long, it had defined her life. She still loved Sakura, didn't she?

Tears began to run from her eyes and Sakura's eyes widened in amazement.

Probably thinks I'm delirious, Tomoyo thought, and laughed dryly.

Then all the sudden she began to cough and the pain was back, sharper than before, and she wanted to throw up to get rid of the taste of cherries. She hated cherries. She moaned a little and Sakura squeaked, concerned.

Tomoyo wondered if she was going to make it until the morning. The tears flowed thicker as her mind ran through the things she never got to do--first kiss, marriage, children, growing old, eternal reciprocated love. Those things everyone wanted in their lives.

She'd never even been kissed, denied every boy who'd walked her to her door through the years. She wanted it to be something special. Now it was nothing.

"Sakura..." Tomoyo whispered. Her heart began to beat harder and it hurt her ribs, but she wondered if she could ask this of her friend. Her beloved. Everyone deserved one last wish, didn't they?

*

"Sakura," Tomoyo breathed. Color rose in her cheeks, but it was blotchy and almost fake, like corpse makeup. The thought made Sakura's eyes burn and soon she was crying too. Tomoyo's face was nothing but the clowny redness and big eyes, like drops of violet.

Sakura sniffled and rubbed her arm on her nose like she was ten instead of in her twenties. She felt so helpless. If only the Clow cards-- but what could they do? Illness wasn't a malevolent being that her cards could fight. It was an intangible murderer.

How could her best friend lay dying?

"Tomoyo, you should probably rest," Sakura said, but Tomoyo lifted a shaky hand in protest.

"Sakura, can you do something for me?" she asked in a pleading tone.

"Anything!" Sakura said vehemently. She's done so much for me. I can never repay her friendship...

"Sakura, can you give me... my first kiss?"

Sakura was shocked by the request and the revelation. She'd dated plenty of boys over the years, and so had Tomoyo. What had Tomoyo been saving herself for? Tomoyo looked embarrassed.

"Never mind. It's not a big deal--"

This time it was Sakura who held up a hand. "How long?" she said softly as her mind began to wrap around something big, as words and actions began to click in the naive one's mind. How long had Tomoyo loved her as her number one?

If the person I love is happy, that's all I need to be happy, Tomoyo had said once. That was years ago. Had she been talking about Sakura?

"I've always loved you," Tomoyo said softly. She breathed sharply and her face screwed up in pain a little. She wrapped a bruised alabaster arm around her ribs as the pain ebbed.

"But Tomoyo, I never knew--" Sakura said, feeling ashamed. Had she really not paid close enough attention to her best friend? How could she not have seen it?

"Of course you didn't," Tomoyo said serenely. She leaned back and gasped as the pain struck again. Her legs tangled in the sheets and one pale foot poked out, each toenail carefully painted red. Sakura had done that not long after Tomoyo had entered the hospital for the long stay. She knew that Tomoyo loved to get pedicures.

"How would you know? I never told you how I really felt. But time is--short. Sakura, I love you," Tomoyo said. A few more tears escaped. It was a soft release of tension. A release all over.

"Tomoyo, I--" Sakura began, then stopped. "I want to make you happy as you make me."

"Know what will make me happy? If you walk out that door and find someone who will treat you right. I can die happy if I know you're happy," Tomoyo said. For that moment her voice was strong. It was serene and real and seemed like the old, healthy Tomoyo. Then she spasmed in pain again.

Tears rolled down Sakura's face. Carefully she leaned forward over Tomoyo's bed. She had to do this right, because she'd never get another chance. Gently she pressed her lips against Tomoyo's. Her mouth tasted vaguely of cherries.

The machines that had been maliciously beeping away each remaining moment of Tomoyo's life suddenly began to wail and whine. Sakura jerked back in surprise. Tomoyo's eyes were closed. Her face was still. Sakura saw the twitch of a smile, and then the nurse was pushing her back out of the way. Another two ran in, but quietly Sakura left the room. She stood outside the door with her hands pressed back against the wall.

It's a pity Eriol didn't make it in time, she reflected. But then there he was, striding down the hallway in a long white coat. It looked as though he'd gotten on a plane straight from the hospital. Seeing her outside the door, he walked faster. Then he heard the commotion. He looked at Sakura in horror, and she nodded. He hung his head as the voices in the room grew louder in controlled panic.

"I'm sorry, Sakura," he said. She nodded. "I traded my ticket for an earlier flight, because I was afraid I wouldn't make it, and... what is that strange smell? Cherries?"

She nodded again, and that was all he got from her for the rest of the night.