storypaint (
storypaint) wrote2009-10-20 09:16 am
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Papa Clow (Clow/Yuuko; Watanuki gen)
Title: Papa Clow
Fandom: xxxHOLiC
Length: 1352 words
Prompt:
comment_fic: xxxHolic, Clow/Yuuko, Clow's alive, and he wants to be Watanuki’s father figure! Yuuko is not amused. Gratuitous use of the jokes involving marriage, divorce and 'call me papa' are encouraged.
Pairing: Clow/Yuuko
Other: This is rather... cracky. And obviously AU given the prompt.
Excerpt: Yuuko pulled free from the man's grasp, and Watanuki could have swore she elbowed him in the nose, but when he turned back to Watanuki, he seemed just fine, and not phased in the slightest. "I'm sorry for not introducing myself," he said. "Clow Reed. It's a pleasure to meet you. But you can call me Papa if you'd like."
If Watanuki had ever thought to make a list of things that Yuuko did that were unusual-- not unusual for normal people, that is, because most things she did were weirder than anything normal people did-- but a list of things that were unusual for her to do, "shouting" would be at the top of the list. He suspected that she thought it took too much effort, when a quiet correction held quite as much weight, coming from her.
Therefore, coming in to work and hearing screaming coming from her sitting room was a definite worry. He burst through the door, panting, not sure what he would be able to do against something that would make Yuuko angry, but the scene he burst in on was nothing like what he had expected (a dragon? two dragons? heck, she'd probably be friends with a manticore).
"Absolutely not!" she finished before looking up, honestly surprised to see Watanuki standing there. Watanuki's eyes swiveled over to the other individual in the room. Yuuko was standing, legs spread and hands on her hips in the manner of a very irritated woman. Her rage was directed at the man leaning across her favorite couch. He was very tall, with small round glasses and a half-smile which Watanuki certainly wouldn't have been able to maintain against Yuuko's vehemence.
"Um--" Watanuki began, feeling as though he were interrupting something. Not just a fight. He found himself blushing furiously.
The tall man smiled even brighter. "And here he is," he said, making Watanuki feel even more uncomfortable. They had been fighting about him?
He turned his gaze to Yuuko, eyes wide with something resembling pleading. Some of the rage dissipated, though Watanuki had the feeling she'd simply tucked it away for later.
"Don't worry about the idiot," she said to Watanuki. "He was just leaving."
"Yuuko, Yuuko," the man said in a soothing tone, rising from the divan to take her shoulders in his big hands. "You thought I was dead, and yet you want me to leave so soon? I want to stick around this time, love." He looked at her tenderly. "We must take proper care of Watanuki, you know."
Watanuki was pretty experienced with shock, especially working for Yuuko. But this was a cold splash down his spine, and a rooting of his feet to the floor, and his eyes so wide that he felt his glasses slipping down his nose.
Yuuko pulled free from the man's grasp, and Watanuki could have swore she elbowed him in the nose, but when he turned back to Watanuki, he seemed just fine, and not phased in the slightest. "I'm sorry for not introducing myself," he said. "Clow Reed. It's a pleasure to meet you. But you can call me Papa if you'd like."
"Papa!" someone agreed cheerfully. Watanuki watched as Mokona bounced past him and into Clow's hand. Clow lifted it to his shoulder, where it snuggled at his face.
"You're my father?!" Watanuki squeaked. From the look on Yuuko's face, it was entirely the wrong thing to say, especially as he continued, "And Yuuko-san is-- is--"
"CLOW!" Yuuko bit out. Clow petted Mokona and looked at Watanuki thoughtfully. Watanuki stared at him. Well, the man was tall, and dark-haired, and had poor eyesight. His eyes weren't quite the same blue as Watanuki's, but they did look a lot alike.
"In a way of speaking, yes," Clow answered him, eyes twinkling with his mischief. "Unfortunately, a very long time ago, Yuuko and I divorced--"
"We were never married! And you were dead!" she shouted, her face growing red with irritation.
Clow waved a hand. "The laws of marriage have changed quite a bit since we were born, dearest, but we did live together, consummate--"
Watanuki and Yuuko both squeaked at that, though Watanuki's squeak was horror and Yuuko's was rage. He looked at his-- (he couldn't even think it) employer, whose fists were balled at her sides, tension radiating from every inch of her being, and somehow Watanuki was surprised she hadn't jumped on Clow and twisted his head off to stop him talking.
(If he'd been able to see other things than ghosts with those mismatched eyes of his, he might have seen the magical tension in the room, which could be metaphorically cut with a knife, though in practice, one would need an electric chainsaw. Unfortunately for Yuuko, Clow practically sweated power from his pores, and at her strongest she was still his second. And he wanted to finish his joke before he'd let her beat him up.
And he would let her, in the end, because he knew who wore the pants in their relationship, at least until he remembered he had more pants, and pressed more neatly as well.)
Clow coughed. "And of course, there were the children. You've raised them quite well on your own, Yuuko. I'm very proud. But I have been away from my family long enough, and I've come back to help."
"THIS is my father?" Watanuki began, turning to Yuuko, but her rage honestly scared him, even directed at someone else. "This?" he said, much more quietly.
"Well, if we must be technical, the phrase should be 'father figure,' regretfully," Clow answered. "You are my own flesh and blood, but our relationship is a little less straightforward than father and child. You could still consider Mokona to be your siblings, though. Those were the children Yuuko and I made ourselves."
"Brother!" Mokona said, making a flying leap and attaching itself to Watanuki's face, muffling his rage.
"This meatbun?" he said. "My sibling?"
"Clow Reed," Yuuko said then, and her voice was level and incredibly dangerous. Watanuki's feet began shuffling backward of their own accord.
"Perhaps you wouldn't mind leaving your parents to get reacquainted, Kimihiro-kun?" Clow said, and then to Yuuko, "You haven't moved your bedroom, have you?"
"I haven't," she said in the same careful monotone. She took three steps in his direction, leaned up almost as though she were going to kiss him (Watanuki screwed his eyes shut), but grabbed Clow's collar instead. She pulled him down to her level, pressing their foreheads together for a moment before dragging him out of the room. Watanuki watched them go in honest wonder.
"What just happened?" he asked Mokona.
With the most innocent tone, Mokona answered, "Papa Clow just came home. Mama Yuuko has missed him a lot."
"Really," Watanuki said faintly.
There was complete silence from the back room. It was unnerving. He supposed Yuuko had used magic to cover--
Whatever it was they were doing. Watanuki shivered. He was pretty sure this wasn't part of his job description. He went home.
*
The next day when he came back, he stepped into the shop very carefully, but it was silent. He stepped loudly in the hallway as a warning, but when he swung open the door to the sitting room, Yuuko was alone, lounging on the couch. She had a bottle by her side and her pipe in her hand. Her eyes were shut, but she was smiling faintly. Mokona was cuddled up to the bottle in a determined but sleepy fashion.
"Ahh?" Watanuki said. Yuuko cracked open one eye.
"Watanuki," she trilled cheerily, "we need snacks to go with this marvelous sake!"
He looked down, suddenly suspicious, at the nearest empty bottle.
"This isn't the kind you usually drink," he said.
She giggled a dangerous giggle. "It's part of the divorce negotiations," she answered. She opened both her eyes, leaning forward on the couch to rest her head in her hands and study Watanuki.
"Di--" he stuttered.
"Visitation rights," she said, fluttering a hand. She smiled, her eyes far-away, as if she were remembering something. A hand wandered down to adjust her dress.
"I'll go get those snacks!" Watanuki said swiftly, darting back into the hallway and heading for the kitchen.
He wondered how long it would be before he had two employers, and sighed.
Fandom: xxxHOLiC
Length: 1352 words
Prompt:
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
Pairing: Clow/Yuuko
Other: This is rather... cracky. And obviously AU given the prompt.
Excerpt: Yuuko pulled free from the man's grasp, and Watanuki could have swore she elbowed him in the nose, but when he turned back to Watanuki, he seemed just fine, and not phased in the slightest. "I'm sorry for not introducing myself," he said. "Clow Reed. It's a pleasure to meet you. But you can call me Papa if you'd like."
If Watanuki had ever thought to make a list of things that Yuuko did that were unusual-- not unusual for normal people, that is, because most things she did were weirder than anything normal people did-- but a list of things that were unusual for her to do, "shouting" would be at the top of the list. He suspected that she thought it took too much effort, when a quiet correction held quite as much weight, coming from her.
Therefore, coming in to work and hearing screaming coming from her sitting room was a definite worry. He burst through the door, panting, not sure what he would be able to do against something that would make Yuuko angry, but the scene he burst in on was nothing like what he had expected (a dragon? two dragons? heck, she'd probably be friends with a manticore).
"Absolutely not!" she finished before looking up, honestly surprised to see Watanuki standing there. Watanuki's eyes swiveled over to the other individual in the room. Yuuko was standing, legs spread and hands on her hips in the manner of a very irritated woman. Her rage was directed at the man leaning across her favorite couch. He was very tall, with small round glasses and a half-smile which Watanuki certainly wouldn't have been able to maintain against Yuuko's vehemence.
"Um--" Watanuki began, feeling as though he were interrupting something. Not just a fight. He found himself blushing furiously.
The tall man smiled even brighter. "And here he is," he said, making Watanuki feel even more uncomfortable. They had been fighting about him?
He turned his gaze to Yuuko, eyes wide with something resembling pleading. Some of the rage dissipated, though Watanuki had the feeling she'd simply tucked it away for later.
"Don't worry about the idiot," she said to Watanuki. "He was just leaving."
"Yuuko, Yuuko," the man said in a soothing tone, rising from the divan to take her shoulders in his big hands. "You thought I was dead, and yet you want me to leave so soon? I want to stick around this time, love." He looked at her tenderly. "We must take proper care of Watanuki, you know."
Watanuki was pretty experienced with shock, especially working for Yuuko. But this was a cold splash down his spine, and a rooting of his feet to the floor, and his eyes so wide that he felt his glasses slipping down his nose.
Yuuko pulled free from the man's grasp, and Watanuki could have swore she elbowed him in the nose, but when he turned back to Watanuki, he seemed just fine, and not phased in the slightest. "I'm sorry for not introducing myself," he said. "Clow Reed. It's a pleasure to meet you. But you can call me Papa if you'd like."
"Papa!" someone agreed cheerfully. Watanuki watched as Mokona bounced past him and into Clow's hand. Clow lifted it to his shoulder, where it snuggled at his face.
"You're my father?!" Watanuki squeaked. From the look on Yuuko's face, it was entirely the wrong thing to say, especially as he continued, "And Yuuko-san is-- is--"
"CLOW!" Yuuko bit out. Clow petted Mokona and looked at Watanuki thoughtfully. Watanuki stared at him. Well, the man was tall, and dark-haired, and had poor eyesight. His eyes weren't quite the same blue as Watanuki's, but they did look a lot alike.
"In a way of speaking, yes," Clow answered him, eyes twinkling with his mischief. "Unfortunately, a very long time ago, Yuuko and I divorced--"
"We were never married! And you were dead!" she shouted, her face growing red with irritation.
Clow waved a hand. "The laws of marriage have changed quite a bit since we were born, dearest, but we did live together, consummate--"
Watanuki and Yuuko both squeaked at that, though Watanuki's squeak was horror and Yuuko's was rage. He looked at his-- (he couldn't even think it) employer, whose fists were balled at her sides, tension radiating from every inch of her being, and somehow Watanuki was surprised she hadn't jumped on Clow and twisted his head off to stop him talking.
(If he'd been able to see other things than ghosts with those mismatched eyes of his, he might have seen the magical tension in the room, which could be metaphorically cut with a knife, though in practice, one would need an electric chainsaw. Unfortunately for Yuuko, Clow practically sweated power from his pores, and at her strongest she was still his second. And he wanted to finish his joke before he'd let her beat him up.
And he would let her, in the end, because he knew who wore the pants in their relationship, at least until he remembered he had more pants, and pressed more neatly as well.)
Clow coughed. "And of course, there were the children. You've raised them quite well on your own, Yuuko. I'm very proud. But I have been away from my family long enough, and I've come back to help."
"THIS is my father?" Watanuki began, turning to Yuuko, but her rage honestly scared him, even directed at someone else. "This?" he said, much more quietly.
"Well, if we must be technical, the phrase should be 'father figure,' regretfully," Clow answered. "You are my own flesh and blood, but our relationship is a little less straightforward than father and child. You could still consider Mokona to be your siblings, though. Those were the children Yuuko and I made ourselves."
"Brother!" Mokona said, making a flying leap and attaching itself to Watanuki's face, muffling his rage.
"This meatbun?" he said. "My sibling?"
"Clow Reed," Yuuko said then, and her voice was level and incredibly dangerous. Watanuki's feet began shuffling backward of their own accord.
"Perhaps you wouldn't mind leaving your parents to get reacquainted, Kimihiro-kun?" Clow said, and then to Yuuko, "You haven't moved your bedroom, have you?"
"I haven't," she said in the same careful monotone. She took three steps in his direction, leaned up almost as though she were going to kiss him (Watanuki screwed his eyes shut), but grabbed Clow's collar instead. She pulled him down to her level, pressing their foreheads together for a moment before dragging him out of the room. Watanuki watched them go in honest wonder.
"What just happened?" he asked Mokona.
With the most innocent tone, Mokona answered, "Papa Clow just came home. Mama Yuuko has missed him a lot."
"Really," Watanuki said faintly.
There was complete silence from the back room. It was unnerving. He supposed Yuuko had used magic to cover--
Whatever it was they were doing. Watanuki shivered. He was pretty sure this wasn't part of his job description. He went home.
*
The next day when he came back, he stepped into the shop very carefully, but it was silent. He stepped loudly in the hallway as a warning, but when he swung open the door to the sitting room, Yuuko was alone, lounging on the couch. She had a bottle by her side and her pipe in her hand. Her eyes were shut, but she was smiling faintly. Mokona was cuddled up to the bottle in a determined but sleepy fashion.
"Ahh?" Watanuki said. Yuuko cracked open one eye.
"Watanuki," she trilled cheerily, "we need snacks to go with this marvelous sake!"
He looked down, suddenly suspicious, at the nearest empty bottle.
"This isn't the kind you usually drink," he said.
She giggled a dangerous giggle. "It's part of the divorce negotiations," she answered. She opened both her eyes, leaning forward on the couch to rest her head in her hands and study Watanuki.
"Di--" he stuttered.
"Visitation rights," she said, fluttering a hand. She smiled, her eyes far-away, as if she were remembering something. A hand wandered down to adjust her dress.
"I'll go get those snacks!" Watanuki said swiftly, darting back into the hallway and heading for the kitchen.
He wondered how long it would be before he had two employers, and sighed.