storypaint | Not a Chance - Writer's Commentary

Fandom: Cardcaptor Sakura
Title: Not a Chance
Author: rhap_chan
Theme(s): 13. Heads or tails, you lose; Dice; Ace
Pairing/Characters: Hiiragizawa Eriol/Mizuki Kaho
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP.
Summary: Eriol is tired of being the strongest magician in the world. He would like for once to be surprised.

To read the fic without commentary, go here.

Hello, and welcome to the Special Edition Writer's Commentary of "Not a Chance." This is kind of like watching a movie with the director's commentary turned on. It details the motivations and inspirations behind the fic, as well as some behind-the-scenes information.

First, let me mention I wrote this fic in the middle of a fit of writer's block. 30_romances is the hardest comm I've attempted yet-- while some of the prompts were easy, others took forever to accomplish, and for the first time I "cheated" and wrote corrected short ficlets rather than fics at least 100 words. This one is probably the longest one in the series.

As for inspiration, "dice" was the only thing that really jumped out at me for this prompt. Playing games of chance with Eriol wouldn't be any fun, I thought...

The sound was quiet, but just loud enough that the constant clatter caught her attention. She probably wouldn't have noticed had she not been reading a book and Nakuru out with friends, but the book was just dull enough that curiousity got the best of her and she went looking for the source of the clatter.

The sound of dice clattering drives me crazy with annoyance. Even halfway across the house. And yes, I absent-mindedly spelled "curiousity" with the U. I read a lot of British novels as a child, and I prefer that construction.

She found Eriol in his study, aimlessly rolling a pair of dice over and over. When she poked her head in the door, he smiled, but his smile didn't reach his eyes.

Eriol is the type of person-- and Clow was too-- who could smile and lie easily, even if something was bothering him. He pretended to be 12 for who knows how long. Smiling without meaning it is easy.

"Kaho, come in," he invited, and she sat down in the chair he had facing the large wooden desk behind which he was sitting. The dice clattered again. He seemed to be deep in thought.

I wish I had a picture of the office I based this on. It's something of a cross between Eriol's "throne" room in Japan and the company president's office. Magnificent and much too heavy for someone so small.

"Dice: a game of chance," he said. "120 different combinations of two dice, and in theory, an equal chance of rolling each. Double three's," he said, rolling the dice without looking, and before he scooped them back up Kaho saw that his guess had been correct. "Six and one, three and two."

At the time of writing, I was enrolled in a statistics class, which is how I knew how many combinations there were. I thought this picture of Eriol always knowing what he was going to roll was both interesting and creepy. And one might note that he doesn't even look at the dice to see if he's right. It's like he's depressed, which is the mood I wanted to set here.

Each of his guesses had been correct, but Kaho was no closer to finding out what was bothering him.

"Clow hated games of chance," Eriol said. "For him, it wasn't chance. He could look at a dice game or a board set up and tell the winner before the game began. He could do this dice trick as easily as I can, seeing through all 120 possibilities and choose the right one. What a dull existence, without surprises."

"Eriol, are you okay?" Kaho said hesitantly. His hand closed over the dice again, but he didn't roll them.

"I'm tired of knowing everything," he said. "I'm tired of being the strongest magician. It's time to go to Japan."

Pre-series fic! I love writing pre-series fic! And it fits well into canon, being that Kaho was in England for some time before Eriol came to class. If they were working that closely together, then maybe they were staying together. After all, he probably had another one of those huge mansions... But the point is: pre-series fic!

"To Japan?"

Kaho was confused. When she'd come to England from Japan, she'd met Eriol and he told her that fate had drawn her here to him. Now they were leaving?

"Yes," Eriol said, and this time his smile was genuine. "I have to see a girl about the Clow Cards."

"A girl?"

"Yes. She's the same age as I appear to be, but in one year's time, she will be the most powerful magician in the world. And then I will go back to England and be with you."

He rose from his seat and pressed the dice into her hand, closing her fingers around them. He kissed her brow gently and said, "Save these. When I get back, I want you to beat me at Yahtzee."

Ah, Yahtzee. I liked ending this on a lighter, hopeful note. When Eriol says to Sakura that he doesn't want to be the most powerful magician in the world, he looks sad. But now he's determined! He gets to test her and trap her in an elevator and throw stuffed sheep on her! So I thought the light-heartedness was really the ending heart of the story.