storypaint (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
storypaint) wrote2008-09-17 05:13 pm
storypaint) wrote2008-09-17 05:13 pm
Entry tags:
Mental Harassment (Fry and Bender gen)
Comm: none
Words: 420
Title: Mental Harassment
Fandom: Futurama
Pairing: Fry and Bender gen
Rating: PG for language
Disclaimer: Futurama is the property of Matt Groening. This fanfic is a derivative of canon material that is not my property. I do not profit from these writings. The opinions and actions expressed in these stories are not necessarily the views and beliefs of the original author or me.
Excerpt: "Good news, everyone!" the Professor announced. "I've figured out a way to give psychic ability to robots!"
"Shut up, you bastard," Bender said, smacking Fry on the back of the head.
"Ow!" Fry protested, rubbing his head, "what was that for?"
"You're talking too loudly. I can't hear the TV!" Bender said, pointing to the screen, upon which the Bachelor Chow jingle sounded.
"I'm not saying anything!" Fry replied.
"Then what was that bit about Leela, huh? You never shut up about her. Meatbags."
"What about me?" Leela asked suspiciously, half-rising from the couch.
"Oh, just something about your tank to--"
Fry clapped a hand over Bender's mouthplate and he silenced. "I didn't say that out loud," he hissed.
"I wonder if it's possible to sue for mental harrassment," Leela mused. Amy shrugged.
Fry looked at Leela and began to strangle Bender, TV forgotten. He was still strangling five minutes later when the Professor walked in, though everyone else had returned to watching television. Robots were, after all, notoriously hard to strangle.
"Ah, I see you've noticed," the Professor said mysteriously.
"Noticed what?"
"Good news, everyone!" the Professor announced. "I've figured out a way to give psychic ability to robots!"
"WHAT?" everyone said at once, confused.
"Why would you want that?" Leela asked.
"Oh, I don't know," the Professor said airily, waving his hand. "Just something to do. You have to tune the robot to the human's brain wave frequency, you see. Fry's was pretty easy because of how slow it moved."
"Hey!" Fry protested, "is that an insult?"
"Fry's brainwaves suck," Bender informed the Professor. "They're full of naked women and pizza. Makes me thirsty." He took a bottle out of his chest cavity and began to drink it.
"When did you do this?" Fry asked.
"Oh, don't worry about it, the pictures are only on the nerdier part of the internet," the Professor said. Fry didn't seem very reassured.
Bender clutched his head. "It's bad enough having to see your underwear in the mornings, Fry-- enough imagining!" He drank more fiercely.
"I feel brain-naked," Fry announced, and Leela muttered something like, "That's unusual?"
"I didn't like the emotions chip, and I don't like this," Bender said to the Professor, "so turn it off or I'm going to use this bottle to give you an enema." He waved it threateningly.
"Oh, dear, no," the Professor said. "Irreversible, I'm afraid. You'll have to wait until Fry dies."
"WHAT?!" Bender and Fry said, looking at each other for a long moment.
Fry took off running in a flash. He might have been stupid-- but not that stupid.
Words: 420
Title: Mental Harassment
Fandom: Futurama
Pairing: Fry and Bender gen
Rating: PG for language
Disclaimer: Futurama is the property of Matt Groening. This fanfic is a derivative of canon material that is not my property. I do not profit from these writings. The opinions and actions expressed in these stories are not necessarily the views and beliefs of the original author or me.
Excerpt: "Good news, everyone!" the Professor announced. "I've figured out a way to give psychic ability to robots!"
"Shut up, you bastard," Bender said, smacking Fry on the back of the head.
"Ow!" Fry protested, rubbing his head, "what was that for?"
"You're talking too loudly. I can't hear the TV!" Bender said, pointing to the screen, upon which the Bachelor Chow jingle sounded.
"I'm not saying anything!" Fry replied.
"Then what was that bit about Leela, huh? You never shut up about her. Meatbags."
"What about me?" Leela asked suspiciously, half-rising from the couch.
"Oh, just something about your tank to--"
Fry clapped a hand over Bender's mouthplate and he silenced. "I didn't say that out loud," he hissed.
"I wonder if it's possible to sue for mental harrassment," Leela mused. Amy shrugged.
Fry looked at Leela and began to strangle Bender, TV forgotten. He was still strangling five minutes later when the Professor walked in, though everyone else had returned to watching television. Robots were, after all, notoriously hard to strangle.
"Ah, I see you've noticed," the Professor said mysteriously.
"Noticed what?"
"Good news, everyone!" the Professor announced. "I've figured out a way to give psychic ability to robots!"
"WHAT?" everyone said at once, confused.
"Why would you want that?" Leela asked.
"Oh, I don't know," the Professor said airily, waving his hand. "Just something to do. You have to tune the robot to the human's brain wave frequency, you see. Fry's was pretty easy because of how slow it moved."
"Hey!" Fry protested, "is that an insult?"
"Fry's brainwaves suck," Bender informed the Professor. "They're full of naked women and pizza. Makes me thirsty." He took a bottle out of his chest cavity and began to drink it.
"When did you do this?" Fry asked.
"Oh, don't worry about it, the pictures are only on the nerdier part of the internet," the Professor said. Fry didn't seem very reassured.
Bender clutched his head. "It's bad enough having to see your underwear in the mornings, Fry-- enough imagining!" He drank more fiercely.
"I feel brain-naked," Fry announced, and Leela muttered something like, "That's unusual?"
"I didn't like the emotions chip, and I don't like this," Bender said to the Professor, "so turn it off or I'm going to use this bottle to give you an enema." He waved it threateningly.
"Oh, dear, no," the Professor said. "Irreversible, I'm afraid. You'll have to wait until Fry dies."
"WHAT?!" Bender and Fry said, looking at each other for a long moment.
Fry took off running in a flash. He might have been stupid-- but not that stupid.